Exploitation of Young Girls Can Lead to Eating Disorder and Low Self Esteem

So Steph and I have been thinking about the "smut list" as we discussed in a previous post on Cyber Bullying and really thought it more then the cyber bullying but the core of the problem is the mixed message that girls recieve from the media and their peers.

On the one hand we tell our girls that they should not engage in sexual behavior but in this day and age when girls are introduced to sexuality at young age it's very confusing for them.

As a matter of fact Abercrombie and Fitch just launched a new bikini for girls for 7 to 14 years that has a padded bikini top. Why on Earth would a 7 year old need a padded bikini top and what message is that sending to young girls? Exploiting the sexuality of a 7 year old is truly disturbing especially in a time when sexual predators are running rampid. Why would you subject your daughter to this and why would a retail designer endorse this kind of exploitation of young girls?

In addition, putting this kind of self awareness of a body image is a recipe for low self esteem. For years girls have suffered from bad body image and results in eating disorders, addictions, and depression. In fact eating disorders is becoming more prevelent in girls as young as 5. An article on PreventDisease.com sites:

          Eating disorder experts say prepubescent girls are developing eating disorders as young as 5 and 6 years old. They may be getting their obsession from parents who are preoccupied with their own body images, and media images of skinny pop stars like Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears, the experts say.

There's no doubt providing sexy clothing to young girls is going to create body image issues. It is hard for young girls today, when the media and society gives them such mixed messages. Society is telling the young girls being sexy is good and exposing sexuality is acceptable, but then when these girls engage in their sexuality, they are called sluts. Girls just can't win.

Steph and Jan

Gross Cyber Bullying in High School "Smut List"

I heard about a "smut" list that was posted to Facebook last week naming high school girls in Westchester, NY and Greenwich, CT as alleged "sluts". Presumably this sort of list began in colleges and now is popping up in high schools. This list was also passed on through mobile devices exposing and exploiting 100 high school girls.

When I searched for more information on this story, the first story that I read included this very disturbing statement:

 Everybody just needs to calm down here. A high school slut list is the best thing that a high school   kid could ask for. It saves so much time and embarrassment if you already know who’s down to f*** at the party, and who’s the prude. If the ladies don’t want to be on the slut list, all they have to do is stop being a slut. It’s not that hard. Once you turn down a drunken blowj** at a party, word will          spread and you’ll be erased from the list faster than the speed of light. Nobody wants prudes on their    slut list. That ruins everything.

This is disturbing on so many levels. It's bad enough that this list was published but hearing a statement like this in support of something so dispicible is truly atrocious.

Nearly 42 percent of children have been cyberbullied and 35 percent have been threatened online, according to a recent survey by i-SAFE Inc., a leader in Internet safety education. Any support of such a "list" should be abolished and violators should be persecuted.

My hope is that this list has already been shut down and the culprits who created this list and whoever added to it or passed it on be punished for cyber bullying. My only worry is that the damage is already done. It is hard enough to deal with the typical bullying at school but now that this has become viral this is not just a school yard name calling, this is public slander. I do hope the parents of the girls on the list talk to their daughters and get them help to overcome this scrutiny.

The schools that were involved in this should conduct a mandatory sexual harrassment and proper conduct workshop to guide the children in what is appropriate and not appropriate conduct. Providing a review of what verbal abuse is, as well as cyber bullying. Laying out what is inappropriate to post, for instance, private pictures and creating lists.

In addition all the girls who were named should be provided with counseling by the school to ensure they handle the scrutiny and prevent them from spiraling into depression. There has been other incidents were students of such public cyber bullying actually took their own lives because they couldn't deal with it, most notably the student from Rutgers University who was subject to a video of a private, intimate moment being streamed online. I would hate to think of any of these girls taking drastic measures to avoid the humilation.

What happened to treating girls with respect. This sort of thing cannot be tolerated.
Jan and Steph

Simplest Recipe Challenge - Today Banana Muffins

I saw this banana muffin recipe on 5 Ingredient Fix on the Food Network and I'm excited to try it. My mother used to make banana bread when I was young and I've never made it for my kids yet. I love easy recipes that my kids can even help with so this seems like a winner. Steph and I will be making this and will report back with our review.

4 ripe bananas

1/3 cup raw agave syrup or honey

1 stick unsalted butter

1 large egg

1 3/4 cups self-rising flour

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line a 12-cup muffin tin with paper muffin liners.
Peel the bananas and add to a large bowl. Add the agave syrup and mash the bananas with a fork until very liquefied but still a little lumpy.

Melt the butter in a small saucepan or skillet over medium heat. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the milk solids have turned a nutty golden brown.

To the brown butter, add about 1 cup of the mashed banana mixture and whisk to combine. Cook for a few more minutes until a darker golden color is achieved. Add to the remaining mashed banner mixture and whisk to combine, then whisk in the egg. Fold in the flour, in 2 batches, with a rubber spatula, until just combined; do not over mix. With an ice cream scoop, evenly divide the batter among the muffin tin cups.
Bake in the center of the oven until golden brown and the tops spring back when pressed, about 25 minutes. Cool for 5 minutes in the pan, then transfer the muffins to a rack to cool completely. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Take the simple recipe challenge. We're looking for the best, simple ingredient recipes to share with our readers. If you have a great recipe send it to stephandjanblog@gmail.com or comment below and we'll try it and review it. You'll also be eligible for our "Power Foods" book giveaway autographed by Martha Stewart.

Jan

Positive Affirmations

Most of us have heard of how important it is to stay positive.  It has been found that positive thought's can influence a person's life and enviroment."The term positive affirmation" comes from a relatively new branch of behavioral medicine called positive psychology.  It looks at what's right rather than focusing on childhood trauma or troubling past events.  Positive affirmations are short, positive statements targeted at negative beliefs, to replace them with a healthy attitude that focuses on success. Affirmations reprogram thought patterns by changing the way a person thinks and feels about things. Practicing positive self-talk and using positive affirmations are valuable tools." as mentioned in "American Fitness" magazine.

If you are having a bad day practice some positive affirmations like:  Instead of saying "I am weak, sick and tired" say "I am strong, healthy and energetic."  Instead of looking at all the things that went wrong in your day, look at all the positive things that happened, no matter how small.  Now write them down and review all the positive things that happened.  Reflect on your day looking for all the things in your life that your are grateful for.  When you are feeling down, incapable, scared or "less than" write down positive qualities about yourself.  Like:  I am inteligent
                        I am healthy
                        I am beautiful
                        I am generous

Try writing down positive affirmations about yourself, your day or just some of the things you are grateful for in your life.  Start to see your life change in a positive way.  Good Luck!

Steph

A Great Legend is Gone

Elizabeth Taylor passed away today, and it just didn't feel right not to say a few words about an American icon.  She was such a strong women and yet so vulnerable.  Her life amazed me, she seemed to live a dozen life times in one.  She wasn't a simple women.  Her life was a difficult one, but not one without great rewards.  She had such compassion for the things she believed in.  Her work to raise money for AIDS/HIV awareness was unbelievable.  She was one of the most interesting women in Hollywood. 

I am sad that a great legend has passed but glad she made her mark.  She has in some way touched all of us:  Her coming out and supporting and not judging those striken with the terrible disease of AIDS/HIV in a time when some people were judged and looked down upon for having the disease.  Her multiple failed marriages showed how she never gave up on the idea of true love but sadly maybe never found it. Her legendary movies, her passionate love affairs, her support to her friends, Rock Hudson and Micheal Jackson to name a few. 

The women had heart, she wasn't just a diva. She wasn't afraid to stand up for what she believed in, even if it ruffled a few feathers.  She might of been raised in the old generation but we could learn alot from a strong women who wasn't afraid, that lived such a colorful life.  She battled her addictions to alcohol and drug addiction which many never can overcome. She battled with many health problems for years.  Her life wasn't an easy one but she lived it to the fullest! We won't forget you, Elizabeth.  Rest in peace.

Steph

Are you happy?

I was watching Oprah with Goldie Hawn and they were talking about happiness and her new book "Ten Mindful Minutes: Easy Steps to Joy and Mindfulness for Parents and Children".

Are you happy? Are you in your core truly happy?

How much silence do you have each day? They say a few minutes of silence each day contibutes to a persons happiness. 10 or 20 minutes is a good goal but starting with just a minute of silence can increase your happiness. Taking one minute each day or one minute several times throughout the day can help reduce your stress and increase your happiness. I've talked about the breathing technique before which I learned from Terri Trespicio from Whole Living who suggests counting your breaths. About 20 breaths is one minute. So start by counting 20 breaths in silence and you're on your road to meditation or in simpler terms quiet time for yourself. Giving yourself quiet time leads to happiness. So make yourself happy today.

Jan

sleep log: getting there although the little one was up til 10 again tonight.
bus stop: it was a snowy morning again today. craziness. I sent Sarah to school in her snow boots and an umbrella, it's always a scurry in the morning but we managed to get out the door just as the bus was rounding the turn our street. It snowed on and off but only occassional flurries and nothing stuck. Although I hear tomorrow morning will be a different story.

How to End Bedtime Brawls

We all suffer after the daylight savings time change. It's great having that extra hour of daylight after work but when bedtime nears, it's no picnic. I know Steph has been haveing a lot of trouble getting her kids back on track and I had a week of horrors myself with the two year old awake until 10.

I started by skipping the nap on Saturday and then put her in bed at 9. I have a strict lights out policy which was at 8:45 but I will do 9 for a week and then bump it back to 8:45 again. You can't bump back bedtime more then 15 minutes at a time, trying to get kids in bed that are going to bed at 10 will never work. Start at 9:45 with lights out and then bump it back 15 minutes every four or five days.

Do not engage in conversation. I'll hear her talking and singing and let her as long as the lights are out and she's in bed. But if she calls me I ignore her or just simply say, nite nite, or I'll tell her to lie down and go nite nite. Most of the time she says ok. If she continues I ignore her and she'll eventually quiet down. But it's imperative to not engage in conversation or they win and the battle will continue.

Create a routine. I think it's key to create a routine. Kids like the predictable and when they know the drill, they'll do it. So if you go up to bed every night at the same time and get ready in the same order. Trip to the bathroom, wash hands and face, brush teeth, move the the bedroom, change cloths, pick out one book each, get in bed and read, sip of water, hugs and kisses, lights out, good night. It will become motorized. It takes 21 days to create a habit so if you can try to instill this routine, in three weeks it should become easier.

A good idea for a little bedtime incentive is to try a reward system. The sticker chart really works and while it's not a long time solution, since it gets old, it should buy you the time to instill the routine. Have a bedtime sticker chart for each part of the routine completed successfully without a fuss. If one part is not complete, there is no sticker. And if they get out of bed after lights out, take away a sticker. Create a compelling reward or a special prize at the end of the week.

Good luck and good night.
Jan