I just started a new tradition with my two girls. Each night before we go to bed, we sit down together and write one thing that we did today that we are proud of or was successful at or enjoyed. This is a really good way to reinforce and reward good behavior. Even on bad days it is a good way to instill something positive.
I read the Success Principles by Jack Canfield a few years back. I recently picked it up and opened it to the page about starting a success journal and writing every night what you did in the day that was successful.
This comes at a great time because I've been trying to curb bad behavior with my 6 year old and I've been trying to find ways to create more reward for positive behavior and reduce the negative behavior. This has been going really well. I bought each their own journal. Each day gets its own page and my 6 year old wrties her own success and then draws a picture of it. My 3 year old has the same entry everyday. Apparently she's very proud of going outside to play everyday. Let's hope it's a mild winter!
I do recommend this for all parents. I also started my own success journal. It's a nice way to end the day and nice way to go to bed with positive reflection.
Jan
Moms. Friends. Girl Power All the Way!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Are you for real?--Wendy Williams
I was watching the Wendy Williams show the other day, which I never watch, and she was talking about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Ashton was spotted in a hot tub with 4 women having a good time and partying and instead of Wendy saying how terrible it was since he is a married man, who should be faithful to his wife, Wendy basically blamed Demi! She said "come on Demi, let him go, you're all dried up down there and can't give him children, you had your 3 girls. You should just find yourself some 65 year old European." What!!!!!!!
Is this society and Wendy trying to say that if your husband sees a chick who is younger than you, or more attractive, you should understand if he cheats??!! Ashton is a married man and should honor his vows! If he can't respect himself and his wife, there is a thing called divorce!
Demi Moore happens to be a beautiful women. Who cares how old she is? Older men have been dating younger women, forever. It is about time older women started dating younger men! I am all for it! Ashton is not some twenty year old kid, he is a grown man in his 30's!
Older women in this society get no respect! They are called dried up, prunes, and are basically told by society that they are no longer attractive. What is so bad about wrinkles? It is a part of life. We are all going to get them! I guess from what Wendy thinks and society says, if your a woman over 40 you're a "has been" and just step aside and let the young girls take over!
All women have to start demanding a little respect! Wendy you should not be talking so negatively about a women your own age! Women need to stick together and respect each other. Men stick by each other and that's why it is a man's world. Women if we stopped trying to keep each other down and supported each other men wouldn't stand a chance. They would have no choice! They would have to respect us and they wouldn't be able to cheat because we would be smart enough not to mess around with a married guy who just wants to have his fun and use us for a little while!
This society has turned into a man's fantasy! Men always have had commitment issues and when women wouldn't give it away so freely they were getting more respect. What is wrong with being married to the same partner for 50 years and raising a family. My grandparents did it and they were a lot happier than couples I meet today that cheat, have multiple partners and don't value marriage.
Steph
Is this society and Wendy trying to say that if your husband sees a chick who is younger than you, or more attractive, you should understand if he cheats??!! Ashton is a married man and should honor his vows! If he can't respect himself and his wife, there is a thing called divorce!
Demi Moore happens to be a beautiful women. Who cares how old she is? Older men have been dating younger women, forever. It is about time older women started dating younger men! I am all for it! Ashton is not some twenty year old kid, he is a grown man in his 30's!
Older women in this society get no respect! They are called dried up, prunes, and are basically told by society that they are no longer attractive. What is so bad about wrinkles? It is a part of life. We are all going to get them! I guess from what Wendy thinks and society says, if your a woman over 40 you're a "has been" and just step aside and let the young girls take over!
All women have to start demanding a little respect! Wendy you should not be talking so negatively about a women your own age! Women need to stick together and respect each other. Men stick by each other and that's why it is a man's world. Women if we stopped trying to keep each other down and supported each other men wouldn't stand a chance. They would have no choice! They would have to respect us and they wouldn't be able to cheat because we would be smart enough not to mess around with a married guy who just wants to have his fun and use us for a little while!
This society has turned into a man's fantasy! Men always have had commitment issues and when women wouldn't give it away so freely they were getting more respect. What is wrong with being married to the same partner for 50 years and raising a family. My grandparents did it and they were a lot happier than couples I meet today that cheat, have multiple partners and don't value marriage.
Steph
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Book Bag: Junie B. Jones
I am agast. I had heard great reviews and recommendations for Junie B. Jones by Barbara Park, a children's book targeting kindergarten through second graders.
Wow, what a shock I was in when my 6 year old daughter brought it home and we started reading it together. I am appalled at the language and behavior of this fresh, little girl and cannot understand why it gets rave reviews, and supposedly from teachers! Last I knew teachers were trying to keep bad behavior like calling names, making fun of kids, the start of bullying behavior, and hitting other kids out of the classroom. Saying dumb and stupid are words that have been forbidden in class and in my home. Even worse calling other kids dumb and stupid. Disgraceful. My daughter actually stopped me and said she was using bad words and we decided to substitute super for stupid or dumb.
The book she brought home was Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth. As I'm reading this line about Mickey Mouse, I realize that she's giving away that the Mickey at Disneyworld is a guy in a costume but it was already coming out and I didn't know how to react. Sorry but my daughter is six and I want to take her to Disneyworld next year and have her believe in the magic of Disney. Sorry but I'm a believer in letting children believe. The time of being young and innocent is so little. Let's let the kids be kids and enjoy this time of wonderfulness. Why would a woman writing a book for a five year want to give away this secret away. Of course they will learn the truth, but I don't think it should be at five and from a book written for a five year old.
In addition to the bad behavior and giving away childhood secrets, it is written in bad grammer and bad english.
So I thought as I was reading I thought this book must be for older kids. So I searched for it and read the Amazon description and discovered that this book is intended for K through 2nd grade. Even worse this book series has won 40 awards. I am shocked and disturbed that this book would get published, praised and awarded.
Bad language, bad behavior, bad grammer. Presumably this is a good "learning" book to teach kids how NOT to behave. How about we write books that teach children HOW TO behave. Books that will inspire them and teach them to be good, kind children. Kids emulate what they read and mimic at this age. Giving them this sort of book teaches them the wrong thing and gives them a bad role model.
We often critize children for being fresh and you wonder why when this is the reading material that people are praising. How could you not expect kids to be fresh when they are given books that encourage this behavior. I don't want a book that I have to make excuses for and talk up the bad behavior. I'd rather my daughter read a book that doesn't need excuses. That kids can read and enjoy. A book can be funny and not be insulting. I don't enjoy a book that is a bad influence on my child.
I definately will not be buying this book or any from the series. I honestly cannot believe one was published let alone an entire series. What a crazy world. I guess people like stupid books. Oh there goes my big fat mouth. Sorry, just got done reading this stupid book. Keep it away from your 5, 6 or 7 year old or you can expect to hear these words, that we try to avoid, in your house and on the playground.
Junie B. Jones, you get a time out. Don't let your kids read this dumb book.
Jan
Wow, what a shock I was in when my 6 year old daughter brought it home and we started reading it together. I am appalled at the language and behavior of this fresh, little girl and cannot understand why it gets rave reviews, and supposedly from teachers! Last I knew teachers were trying to keep bad behavior like calling names, making fun of kids, the start of bullying behavior, and hitting other kids out of the classroom. Saying dumb and stupid are words that have been forbidden in class and in my home. Even worse calling other kids dumb and stupid. Disgraceful. My daughter actually stopped me and said she was using bad words and we decided to substitute super for stupid or dumb.
The book she brought home was Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth. As I'm reading this line about Mickey Mouse, I realize that she's giving away that the Mickey at Disneyworld is a guy in a costume but it was already coming out and I didn't know how to react. Sorry but my daughter is six and I want to take her to Disneyworld next year and have her believe in the magic of Disney. Sorry but I'm a believer in letting children believe. The time of being young and innocent is so little. Let's let the kids be kids and enjoy this time of wonderfulness. Why would a woman writing a book for a five year want to give away this secret away. Of course they will learn the truth, but I don't think it should be at five and from a book written for a five year old.
In addition to the bad behavior and giving away childhood secrets, it is written in bad grammer and bad english.
So I thought as I was reading I thought this book must be for older kids. So I searched for it and read the Amazon description and discovered that this book is intended for K through 2nd grade. Even worse this book series has won 40 awards. I am shocked and disturbed that this book would get published, praised and awarded.
Bad language, bad behavior, bad grammer. Presumably this is a good "learning" book to teach kids how NOT to behave. How about we write books that teach children HOW TO behave. Books that will inspire them and teach them to be good, kind children. Kids emulate what they read and mimic at this age. Giving them this sort of book teaches them the wrong thing and gives them a bad role model.
We often critize children for being fresh and you wonder why when this is the reading material that people are praising. How could you not expect kids to be fresh when they are given books that encourage this behavior. I don't want a book that I have to make excuses for and talk up the bad behavior. I'd rather my daughter read a book that doesn't need excuses. That kids can read and enjoy. A book can be funny and not be insulting. I don't enjoy a book that is a bad influence on my child.
I definately will not be buying this book or any from the series. I honestly cannot believe one was published let alone an entire series. What a crazy world. I guess people like stupid books. Oh there goes my big fat mouth. Sorry, just got done reading this stupid book. Keep it away from your 5, 6 or 7 year old or you can expect to hear these words, that we try to avoid, in your house and on the playground.
Junie B. Jones, you get a time out. Don't let your kids read this dumb book.
Jan
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Why is the Jersey Shore being Promoted to 12 Year Olds?
Why is the Jersey Shore targeting 12 year old children? This show promotes drinking, smoking and casual sex. It exploits women as sexual objects that are DTF. WTF? Why is this replayed during daytime hours. This is adult programming if I ever saw it and yet it is on a MTV after school and targets the 12 to 24 year old demographic. Shame on them.
We say we want to teach our children not to drink, smoke have have sex yet this is what they are being exposed to and idealize. This is what they see as being typical behavior. They are watching these 20 somethings behaving shamelessly and getting paid big money for it.
The cast has been shown literally falling down drunk and sent to jail, girls making out with girls - do we really want our daughters thinking it's ok to make out with their girlfriends? I'll go on about this another time - girls lifting their dresses in bars to show the World their goods, the boys picking up drunk girls in clubs that are DTF.
Yes I watch the show and I have the guilty pleasure of watching the escapades of this motley crew but when I realized this show is being broadcast during after school hours, on weekends during the daytime, over and over again, for young kids to watch, I was stunned and furious. This is not appropriate for junior high school students. In my day, I came home from school and watched the Partridge Family and the Brady Bunch. I guess the days of innocence is gone and kids are exposed to way more than I ever would have imagined.
I'd like to see shows like this given a TVMA (mature audience) rating and only broadcast after 10PM. Why do we want our kids exposed to lude behavior? Why do we want our kids to idolize these people who are best known for being big time partiers? Why do we want to endorse programming that exposes adult situations promoting drinking, smoking and sexually explicit images.
If we want our kids to be good, let's start by making what they watch good. Let's get some wholesome shows that promote doing and being good. Things that make our kids want to be better people. To help others and work hard. Not showing how you can be a celebrity and be rewarded for a party lifestyle.
Know what your kids are watching. If you have impressionable children, ban these types of shows from your household. Inspire them with quality programming.
Jan
We say we want to teach our children not to drink, smoke have have sex yet this is what they are being exposed to and idealize. This is what they see as being typical behavior. They are watching these 20 somethings behaving shamelessly and getting paid big money for it.
The cast has been shown literally falling down drunk and sent to jail, girls making out with girls - do we really want our daughters thinking it's ok to make out with their girlfriends? I'll go on about this another time - girls lifting their dresses in bars to show the World their goods, the boys picking up drunk girls in clubs that are DTF.
Yes I watch the show and I have the guilty pleasure of watching the escapades of this motley crew but when I realized this show is being broadcast during after school hours, on weekends during the daytime, over and over again, for young kids to watch, I was stunned and furious. This is not appropriate for junior high school students. In my day, I came home from school and watched the Partridge Family and the Brady Bunch. I guess the days of innocence is gone and kids are exposed to way more than I ever would have imagined.
I'd like to see shows like this given a TVMA (mature audience) rating and only broadcast after 10PM. Why do we want our kids exposed to lude behavior? Why do we want our kids to idolize these people who are best known for being big time partiers? Why do we want to endorse programming that exposes adult situations promoting drinking, smoking and sexually explicit images.
If we want our kids to be good, let's start by making what they watch good. Let's get some wholesome shows that promote doing and being good. Things that make our kids want to be better people. To help others and work hard. Not showing how you can be a celebrity and be rewarded for a party lifestyle.
Know what your kids are watching. If you have impressionable children, ban these types of shows from your household. Inspire them with quality programming.
Jan
Friday, September 16, 2011
What! Are You Wearing That Out In Public?
It is hard to believe what I see some of the young girls wearing today! They wear shorts that don't even cover their bottom and shirts that are completely transparent! My daughter's classmates who are only in the 6th grade are wearing things like this! I would never allow my daughter to wear this attire. Why would any mother want men looking at their daughter's in a sexual way? Why do girls want to attract that negative attention? These men are not thinking what a nice girl, I wonder what her personality is like? I respect her feelings and would like to get to know her as a friend and maybe eventually it will lead to a meaningful relationship. They are thinking they would like to go for a ride! (you know what I mean)
Young girls are being abused and mistreated more and more these days and it is time, us, women say enough is enough! We no longer want to display ourselves as pieces of meat. We have minds, personalities and feelings! If we wear and allow our daughters to wear sexually provacative clothing we are advertising that we are sexual objects only for men's pleasure.
I look at women having to wear less and less clothing to get attention from men and they are also getting less and less respect. Back in the 40's and 50's when my mom was growing up, women would show a little leg and men would get a little nervous and excited. Now women have to get completely naked and men are not even really getting as excited as they use to, because they have been so exposed to nudity that they are desensitized by it.
It is important that young girls understand that women are more respected by men if they respect themselves. If the man only loves you for your beauty and sexuality, you're in trouble because the next pretty girl is going to come along and you're history!
Steph
Young girls are being abused and mistreated more and more these days and it is time, us, women say enough is enough! We no longer want to display ourselves as pieces of meat. We have minds, personalities and feelings! If we wear and allow our daughters to wear sexually provacative clothing we are advertising that we are sexual objects only for men's pleasure.
I look at women having to wear less and less clothing to get attention from men and they are also getting less and less respect. Back in the 40's and 50's when my mom was growing up, women would show a little leg and men would get a little nervous and excited. Now women have to get completely naked and men are not even really getting as excited as they use to, because they have been so exposed to nudity that they are desensitized by it.
It is important that young girls understand that women are more respected by men if they respect themselves. If the man only loves you for your beauty and sexuality, you're in trouble because the next pretty girl is going to come along and you're history!
Steph
Sunday, September 11, 2011
911 Tribute
I watched the 911 tribute today. I used to be able to see the Twin Towers from the beach in my Town. As half my town works in New York, there were people from my Town that died that day although I did not know them personally.
Today as I watched the tribute, I thought about how it changed us all. I remembered the kindness and bond that it created. I finally understood, I think for the first time, truly understood the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It may seem silly but I finally connected with that story because suddenly now I can personally relate to it. I cried when I watched it at Christmas because you can knock us down, you can take down our buildings, but you can't take our spirit. Our patriotism showed through and we preservered.
I cried as I told my daughters what happened. They are too young and don't understand but I hope that they will not have to ever live through something so tragic. But it reminds us once again to be true to ourselves. Know what's most important in our lives. Believe in ourselves and our country.
God Bless America.
Jan
Today as I watched the tribute, I thought about how it changed us all. I remembered the kindness and bond that it created. I finally understood, I think for the first time, truly understood the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It may seem silly but I finally connected with that story because suddenly now I can personally relate to it. I cried when I watched it at Christmas because you can knock us down, you can take down our buildings, but you can't take our spirit. Our patriotism showed through and we preservered.
I cried as I told my daughters what happened. They are too young and don't understand but I hope that they will not have to ever live through something so tragic. But it reminds us once again to be true to ourselves. Know what's most important in our lives. Believe in ourselves and our country.
God Bless America.
Jan
Friday, September 9, 2011
Motherhood is Harder Than It Looks
Being a parent is the hardest job in the World. I remember hearing this before I had kids and thought, "oh please, it's not that hard to take care of cute little babies and kids who love and adore you and you get to hug them and brush their hair and play with them.
Now that I have two kids, I know just how hard it is. I think it's one of those things that you just don't get until you experience it. When you only see one side, the fun side of parenthood, and when you really want to be a mother, you glorify being a parent. But it really truly is the hardest job. I love my kids but it can be stressful, difficult, exasperating, frustrating. I have always been pretty mild mannered yet lately I find I raise my voice, to put it politely, daily. The bedtime battle is exhausting. Saying every night 20 or 30 times the same thing over and over, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, stop playing and brush your teeth. Seriously, what should take 2 minutes turns into 20 minutes. Night after night of 20 minutes in the bathroom is just 18 minutes longer than I want to be in the bathroom yet I can't seem to speed up the process.
So I had to laugh when I was watching Bravo's new show, Most Eligible Dallas. when one of the girls featured on the show, Courtney, started judging this single mom, Neill, and whining about how she was out on a Wednesday night when she should be home with her baby; and how badly she wanted to have a family and kids and she would be home every night with her "little nugget". I had to laugh because that is such a single girl dreaming desperately to be a mom but having NO idea of how hard it is. As a mom who was desperate to have kids and I adore my children and love them more than anything else in life, I know that even with this most unconditional, unwavering love of your children, sometimes you need some time for yourself. You need some time out with friends. Especially a single mom who has no daily support or back up, I can't even imagine how good it would feel to get out and given the opportunity, I'm glad she took it and had a fun night out. It's just too bad she had to be judged.
This also reminds me of a girl at work who is trying to get pregnant and went on about how a baby wouldn't slow her down and she would just throw the baby on her back in a baby Bjorn and take the baby with her every, including traveling... on long plane trips. I laughed. I remember when I thought the same thing. Then reality sets in and traveling with a baby or young one is not as easy as throw the kid on your back and go. It's packing two extra suitcases filled with baby gear and toys, a carry-on bag filled with toys, books, snacks and drinks. The stroller, the car seat. Then of course have to entertain in a tight space for hours. I laugh. I've done it but it will be a while before I do that again. Now I prefer to take quick get-aways by car and the longest I'm willing to travel is 3 hours. It's a movie in the car DVD. When movie's over, it's time to pull over, take a bathroom break, have lunch/dinner, back in the car with another movie, and then we're at our destination.
So to you singles wishing and waiting for the easy life of motherhood, please believe us when you hear it is hard. Don't judge a girl who gets to go out for a couple hours and takes it. Don't pretend that you are that special that for you it will be easy, like we are all doing it wrong and you have the secret to motherhood being easy. It will be harder than you can imagine so be prepared. It is without a doubt the most amazing, wonderful thing. But your life will change completely. No more quick running out. Simple errands become a chore. I wish motherhood for every woman that wants children but just don't think it will be different for you. It will be hard. But it will be worth it.
Jan
Now that I have two kids, I know just how hard it is. I think it's one of those things that you just don't get until you experience it. When you only see one side, the fun side of parenthood, and when you really want to be a mother, you glorify being a parent. But it really truly is the hardest job. I love my kids but it can be stressful, difficult, exasperating, frustrating. I have always been pretty mild mannered yet lately I find I raise my voice, to put it politely, daily. The bedtime battle is exhausting. Saying every night 20 or 30 times the same thing over and over, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, stop playing and brush your teeth. Seriously, what should take 2 minutes turns into 20 minutes. Night after night of 20 minutes in the bathroom is just 18 minutes longer than I want to be in the bathroom yet I can't seem to speed up the process.
So I had to laugh when I was watching Bravo's new show, Most Eligible Dallas. when one of the girls featured on the show, Courtney, started judging this single mom, Neill, and whining about how she was out on a Wednesday night when she should be home with her baby; and how badly she wanted to have a family and kids and she would be home every night with her "little nugget". I had to laugh because that is such a single girl dreaming desperately to be a mom but having NO idea of how hard it is. As a mom who was desperate to have kids and I adore my children and love them more than anything else in life, I know that even with this most unconditional, unwavering love of your children, sometimes you need some time for yourself. You need some time out with friends. Especially a single mom who has no daily support or back up, I can't even imagine how good it would feel to get out and given the opportunity, I'm glad she took it and had a fun night out. It's just too bad she had to be judged.
This also reminds me of a girl at work who is trying to get pregnant and went on about how a baby wouldn't slow her down and she would just throw the baby on her back in a baby Bjorn and take the baby with her every, including traveling... on long plane trips. I laughed. I remember when I thought the same thing. Then reality sets in and traveling with a baby or young one is not as easy as throw the kid on your back and go. It's packing two extra suitcases filled with baby gear and toys, a carry-on bag filled with toys, books, snacks and drinks. The stroller, the car seat. Then of course have to entertain in a tight space for hours. I laugh. I've done it but it will be a while before I do that again. Now I prefer to take quick get-aways by car and the longest I'm willing to travel is 3 hours. It's a movie in the car DVD. When movie's over, it's time to pull over, take a bathroom break, have lunch/dinner, back in the car with another movie, and then we're at our destination.
So to you singles wishing and waiting for the easy life of motherhood, please believe us when you hear it is hard. Don't judge a girl who gets to go out for a couple hours and takes it. Don't pretend that you are that special that for you it will be easy, like we are all doing it wrong and you have the secret to motherhood being easy. It will be harder than you can imagine so be prepared. It is without a doubt the most amazing, wonderful thing. But your life will change completely. No more quick running out. Simple errands become a chore. I wish motherhood for every woman that wants children but just don't think it will be different for you. It will be hard. But it will be worth it.
Jan
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