Motherhood is Harder Than It Looks

Being a parent is the hardest job in the World. I remember hearing this before I had kids and thought, "oh please, it's not that hard to take care of cute little babies and kids who love and adore you and you get to hug them and brush their hair and play with them.

Now that I have two kids, I know just how hard it is. I think it's one of those things that you just don't get until you experience it. When you only see one side, the fun side of parenthood, and when you really want to be a mother, you glorify being a parent. But it really truly is the hardest job. I love my kids but it can be stressful, difficult, exasperating, frustrating. I have always been pretty mild mannered yet lately I find I raise my voice, to put it politely, daily. The bedtime battle is exhausting. Saying every night 20 or 30 times the same thing over and over, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, stop playing and brush your teeth. Seriously, what should take 2 minutes turns into 20 minutes. Night after night of 20 minutes in the bathroom is just 18 minutes longer than I want to be in the bathroom yet I can't seem to speed up the process.

So I had to laugh when I was watching Bravo's new show, Most Eligible Dallas. when one of the girls featured on the show, Courtney, started judging this single mom, Neill, and whining about how she was out on a Wednesday night when she should be home with her baby; and how badly she wanted to have a family and kids and she would be home every night with her "little nugget". I had to laugh because that is such a single girl dreaming desperately to be a mom but having NO idea of how hard it is. As a mom who was desperate to have kids and I adore my children and love them more than anything else in life, I know that even with this most unconditional, unwavering love of your children, sometimes you need some time for yourself. You need some time out with friends. Especially a single mom who has no daily support or back up, I can't even imagine how good it would feel to get out and given the opportunity, I'm glad she took it and had a fun night out. It's just too bad she had to be judged.

This also reminds me of a girl at work who is trying to get pregnant and went on about how a baby wouldn't slow her down and she would just throw the baby on her back in a baby Bjorn and take the baby with her every, including traveling... on long plane trips. I laughed. I remember when I thought the same thing. Then reality sets in and traveling with a baby or young one is not as easy as throw the kid on your back and go. It's packing two extra suitcases filled with baby gear and toys, a carry-on bag filled with toys, books, snacks and drinks. The stroller, the car seat. Then of course have to entertain in a tight space for hours. I laugh. I've done it but it will be a while before I do that again. Now I prefer to take quick get-aways by car and the longest I'm willing to travel is 3 hours. It's a movie in the car DVD. When movie's over, it's time to pull over, take a bathroom break, have lunch/dinner, back in the car with another movie, and then we're at our destination.

So to you singles wishing and waiting for the easy life of motherhood, please believe us when you hear it is hard. Don't judge a girl who gets to go out for a couple hours and takes it. Don't pretend that you are that special that for you it will be easy, like we are all doing it wrong and you have the secret to motherhood being easy. It will be harder than you can imagine so be prepared. It is without a doubt the most amazing, wonderful thing. But your life will change completely. No more quick running out. Simple errands become a chore. I wish motherhood for every woman that wants children but just don't think it will be different for you. It will be hard. But it will be worth it.

Jan

How Profound - Sometimes It's Better to be an Observer Rather than a Participant

As you could probably tell if you've read this blog before, I am a fan of Bravo and the Real Housewives. I was surprised at how profound Kelly was in giving advice to Alex over the Jill/Ramona battle. Alex ran downstairs in a rant wanting to have a discussion with LuAnn over how she felt LuAnn was mistreating Ramona. Kelly, while she was being "weird" about it, told Alex that sometimes it's best to be an observer than a participant. I think that is the most profound thing I've ever heard Kelly say. Who knew. It was the best advice and she was absolutely right. At the end of the episode Ramona and Jill made amends but meanwhile now the wedge that Alex made with LuAnn lives on. The fued was between Ramona and Jill and she should have left it that way. All Alex did was create friction and trouble for her and the other girls while they were on vacation trying to enjoy themselves. Her timing and presentation was way off base.

I'm sure we've all been there. Taking sides and getting in the middle of other people's business who then make up and you're left hanging out there, still upset and now with your own fight. Needlessly.

Dont' fall into the drama. Before you get in the middle, remember sometimes it's best to be an observer rather then a participant.

Jan

Bethenny Frankel's coming to town!

I am super excited to hear Bethenny Frankel is stopping off in Stamford, CT on her bus tour for her new book, "A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life". I love her show and can't wait for the premier of Ever After on Bravo. I am a big fan. I actually aspire to be her. :) She's got her own TV show, she's a NY Times Best Seller author and entreprenuer. She's funny and witty and she's an inspiration. Yes!

Jan