How Profound - Sometimes It's Better to be an Observer Rather than a Participant

As you could probably tell if you've read this blog before, I am a fan of Bravo and the Real Housewives. I was surprised at how profound Kelly was in giving advice to Alex over the Jill/Ramona battle. Alex ran downstairs in a rant wanting to have a discussion with LuAnn over how she felt LuAnn was mistreating Ramona. Kelly, while she was being "weird" about it, told Alex that sometimes it's best to be an observer than a participant. I think that is the most profound thing I've ever heard Kelly say. Who knew. It was the best advice and she was absolutely right. At the end of the episode Ramona and Jill made amends but meanwhile now the wedge that Alex made with LuAnn lives on. The fued was between Ramona and Jill and she should have left it that way. All Alex did was create friction and trouble for her and the other girls while they were on vacation trying to enjoy themselves. Her timing and presentation was way off base.

I'm sure we've all been there. Taking sides and getting in the middle of other people's business who then make up and you're left hanging out there, still upset and now with your own fight. Needlessly.

Dont' fall into the drama. Before you get in the middle, remember sometimes it's best to be an observer rather then a participant.

Jan

Domestic Abuse - Where's the Line

On  recent episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra called the police on her soon-to-be ex-husband because he threw a dog leash at her. The kind that has the auto wind with a long leash so it is heavy plastic leash line. She wasn't hurt but to make matters worse he did this in front of his child. Another former cast member of the OC, Jeanne, actually told Tamra she was wrong for calling the police and was more concerned with Simon's reputation than Tamra's safety.

I was discussing this scene with some of the girls and was shocked that one of them actually took the side of Jeanne. She agreed that Tamra was wrong to call the police and exagerated the truth and that calling the police could hurt Tamra financially since it would be on Simon's record and he would have trouble finding a job. OK, I was in shock.

So where's the line? What does it take to make a violent act "appropriate" to call the police. Should she wait until she's in the hospital? Does a woman have to wait until until there is serious physical injury before taking action? If a woman feels threatened and afraid for her safety and for the safety of her children, she should call the police. That is why they are there. To protect us. Domestic abuse should not be taken lightly and this is the problem, for some reason the people take the side of the aggressor instead of the victim and think the victim is making it up or exaggerating the truth. 

This is no joke. A violent man needs to be able to control his temper and walk away if he can't handle a situation. A woman should not be subject to verbal and physical assault. There is NO justification for that kind of behavior. Women in particular should be siding with other women on this. Women should not feel that taking abuse is ok. It is not.

Jan