Marrying a Man Who Could be Your Grandfather. Really?

We've seen some high profile relationships involving a 70 or 80 year old man with a 20-something year old woman. Funny enough this seems fodder for reality television with E!s Girls Next Door which starred the 80 something Hugh Hefner, 85, with his 20 something girlfriends. Then there was Anna Nicole Smith who married an 89 year old billionaire, she also had a reality TV show on E!.

If you've read this blog before, you'll know that I'm a fan of Bravo and the Real Housewives. I just learned that Sonja from the New York season was married to an 80 year old man and was shocked that there was such a drastic difference in their age. Hearing her speak of her husband I never expected him to be a man that could have been her grandfather and I think I lost a little of my love and respect for her.

I don't get it. I feel within 10 years difference is the best since it would seem people from the same decade would have the most in common and could relate to each other's lifestyle, pop culture, music, etc. I get why many girls go for guys that are 20 years their senior because they are looking for security and being taken care of. It's the father syndrome, I think particularly for girls who grew up without a father figure and are desperately looking to fill that void. 

But when the gap starts reaching 30 years or more, I find it hard to understand how there is any mutual ground. How there is anything in common to talk about and how there could possibly be any physical attraction. It seems the two big reasons that are the glue for these relationships are money and fame for the woman and the trophy wife for the man.

There's a recent Hollywood marriage between a 51 year old actor and a 16 year old wanna-be-actress. I find it disturbing that her parents would allow this to take place. The groom is older then the bride's father and this man could be her grandfather. She seems to come from a dysfunctional family because any parent that would allow their 16 year to get married is bad enough but allowing their 16 year old to marry a 51 year old man is unfathomable to me. How they could sign papers to give their blessing to a marriage rather then going straight to the police station to file a restraining order and file charges against him. I believe she is too young and naive to really get it and fully understand her feelings. For him, however, I can only think pedophile. 

As they say, most famously the Beatles, live and let live. So who am I to judge as long as the parties involved are happy. But at the same time, really? Really I don't get it.

Jan

Spark Up The Romance

My husband and I had the best night together last night! Relationships are hard and seem to get harder as the years go on.  It is important to be creative and try and bring some fun back into the relationship.  We are always trying new ways to bring the spark into the relationship.  We have been together 9 years and have 2 very active children so it's hard to find time for romance.  Last night we put the kids to bed at 8 and then ordered take out, turned out all the lights and lit some candles.  We had time to talk and unwind and sparked up some romance.  We had the best time!  It has been awhile since we gave each other full attention and we found we really enjoy each other and still make each other laugh! 

Need some help in the "us" department. I think we all need a reminder once in a while to do fun things together and enjoy being with each other. It's so easy to forget to spend quality time together when everything else always seems to come first. Work, kids, working out, cleaning, dinner, laundry, bills and the list goes on.

Tips for togetherness. Find ways to have fun at home! Put the kids to bed a little early and bake cookies or brownies together. Then splurge! We also like to get a good book and read to each other, play cards, Wii, board games or just cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie together. Massages are great after a hard day what is better than a neck, head and back massage! Use warm cream to moisturize your skin and you'll feel good and your skin will look good. Of course feel free to get creative with any of these suggestions if you're so inclined. wink wink. But it's really just about connecting, enjoying each others company, and keeping the relationship fun. 

Stop making excuses and nuture your relationship.  Enjoy each other, rekindle the romance.

Steph