Make a Change in 2012

2012 is quickly approaching. People start thinking about making resolutions. I think it's best to make a list of goals for teh year. Include small goals that are attainable and some larger goals that will take some work to get. I talked to a girl at work who, gasp, does not recycle. Anything! In this day and age I find it hard to believe that everyone is not at the very least recycling cans and newspapers. I told her to start by just recylcling one can or bottle a week. She will be contributing and learning the habit of recycling and seeing just how easy it actually is. And this will make an impact on the environment.

Same goes for saving money, paying down debt, dieting, working out, becoming more social, starting a hobby, whatever it is. Start small. Making a small committment gets you started. Then you can expand down the road.

If you don't work out, start with a 15 minute walk twice a week.
If you want to eat healthier, substitute one bag of chips for an apple and trade one can of soda for water each week. Then increase to twice a week.
Make it easy and attainable so you will actually succeed.

Then add a couple bigger goals. It's good to challenge yourself. If you don't commit to something every year to challenge yourself, you will never grow as a person or do great things. This could include travel, learning a new language or picking up an instrument, skiing or playing tennis.

Have a happy new year!

Jan

It's Not What She Says---It's How She Looks

After seeing the movie Miss Representation, I have become even more aware of the derogatory comments made about women on T.V., movies and in the media.  If you watch even an half hour of T.V. in a night you can count a dozen or more comments that we make about women that we don't make about men.  Comments about what she was wearing, if she looked heavy or not, if she is attractive or not, if she looks young or not, if her hair-do is appropriate or not, if she is dressed well or not, if her body is toned or not, if her rear end is big or not!  It is ridiculous what we put women through.  We pick them apart and then we wonder why young girls are so insecure!

I turned on "The View" for 10 minutes and within that ten minutes Whoopi Goldberg and several others commented on Michelle Bachmann.  The only thing they had to say about her was she is attractive and looked good on her interview on the "late late show".  They also said she wasn't going to win the election but not one of them commented on her political views.  Do they even know what they are?  Isn't that the reason we have elections?

It is time that the media changes and women are not so sexualized and there is more respect.  Even women can't stop commmenting on what other women wear, and what they look like. Enough is enough it is time for a change! Gossip shows, gossip magazines, mean cruel comments about women it has got to stop!! It hurts all of us every time we say a mean cruel comment, buy a gossip magazine, watch a gossip show we are hurting ourselves in the long run.  Just remember that someone will be gossiping about you too.  Do you like it? Let's stop putting each other down and start supporting each other, we will all go alot further if we help each other instead of bring each other down.

Steph

This Holiday Season, Buy USA

When you are out shopping this holiday season, check labels and buy American. The best way to improve our economy is to buy American-made products. Let's support American workers, American companies and buy American-made products. We're spending our money, let's invest it in ourselves.

I went to Carters today which I always assumed was American-made and was shocked to see the clothing was made in Indonesia, China and Cambodia. I left the store without buying anything.

Remember to also support the mom and pop shops.

Keep America strong and buy USA.

Jan

Shirtless Vampires Turn Men off Twilight

I heard a conversation about the movie Twilight and this man saying that this movie has killed the movie genre for all vampire movies. One of his grievances was the fact that they men are shirtless throughout most of the movie and how they seem to rip their shirts off for no apparement reason. I have to laugh because now he knows how women feel about being forced to see women shirtless and even completely nude in almost every movie made that is rated PG13 and R and above. Proving that nudity or partial nudity is not needed and if it's not appropriate for men, then it should be appropriate for women to take their shirts off. And quite frankly, it is more inappropriate for a woman to take her shirt off then for a guy to take his shirt off. How about we let the movie industry know that we should keep the shirts on, for the men and the women.

Finally the shoe is on the other foot and men see how it feels to have to watch hot guys taking their shirts off and they don't like it. Well women don't like seeing hot women taking their shirts off either.

Sign up for Miss Represenation and see how you can have a voice and make a positive change for the representation in the movies.

Jan

"Excused"--Excuse Me, But I am Disgusted!

I just saw about 10 minutes maybe less of a show on T.V. called "Excused", I was so disgusted I had to turn it.  The show was about two guys that sit in a room with an announcer (a girl) and then outside the building a bunch of girls, seperately ring the doorbell. The guys get a preview of what she looks like through a surveilance camera and then they decide if she can come up to their room.

The girls try to say witty (usually with sexual innuendos) things to try and get these guys to let them in. Then the guys tell the announcer what they think of the girl and the announcer has to let the girl know if she was rejected or excepted and why.

It was so pathetic, these girls flaunted themselves and basically implied that if the guys let them up they would get a piece. It  was so sad to me, to see that girls would demean themselves like this.  The guys were basically critizing her on how she looks and what she said.  The girls that they found unattractive were rejected.  The guys said things like "I wish she had a better looking face, she's ugly!" 

Basically, the guys were checking out these girls like pieces of meat and rating their face, body and how sexual she acted.  What happened to society? Why do we treat humans like commodities! Why are women not respecting themselves. These girls reminded me of street corner hookers that were trying to earn some money by turning a trick.  Is this how girls want to be treated? Like meat?  I think it's time to get back some good old fashioned values!  Girls you should let the guy treat you right by taking you out, getting to know you, and speaking to you, and about you, with RESPECT!!!!  I hope there are some women out there who agree that it is important to gain a man's respect, if you want to be treated well by him.  How can a man respect you if your are acting desperate and needy.  If you are offering and flaunting yourself and begging him to accept you!  This society needs to change, women need to demand respect by respecting themselves.  Women need to stop settling for less than what they want just to have a man.  If women would stop putting up with men's bad behavior men would change.  They would know that they aren't getting anything from a women unless he treats her with respect.

It makes me sad when I see women being cheated on, disrespected, mistreated and lied to, and they still put up with it because they don't want to be alone.  If all women wouldn't put up with the "bad boy" behavior men would change.  It is time that women start getting more respect from men!

Of course, this show called "Excused" is the media once again making women look like sexual objects with not much to offer but sex.  Why are so many women agreeing to do these things that degrade themselves and make it harder for all women to get any respect!

Steph

Boycott Abercrombie and Fitch

This holiday season send a message to Abercrombie and Fitch that you don't support their chioces in girls fashions. As I pointed out in a previous blog, they released a bikini line that included padded bikini tops for 8 year olds. They have also in the past introduced thong underwear for 8 year olds. Clothing retailers and designers should not be creating clothing for young girls that make them appear older and sexier. Not only it exploits girls and opens them up to sexual preditors, but it also starts shaping their minds and creates a bad sense of body image.

This sends the wrong message to girls. This sends the message that a girl should be worried about her figure and tells her how she should look to be attractive. This sends the message that her natural body is not good enough and she needs enhancements to lood good. This is why teenage girls are having plastic surgery. 

Make a stand that this kind of fashion is offensive and dangerous for young girls and should not be considered for a minute much less made available to the public.

Boycott Abercrombie and Fitch and take a stand to protect young girls.

Jan

Not Another Broken Heart

It's official what Jan and I have been talking about for years,  men and women have different emotional make ups and we are fooling ourselves if we think we can play a man's game.  According to the Associate Press today "Women are 7 to 9 times more likely to suffer from "broken heart syndrome"  when sudden or prolonged stress like an emotional break-up or death causes overwhelming heartfailure or heart-attack like symptoms."

So why are so many women that we know play this game that they are emotionallly unattached and don't care about having a loving commited relationship.  They have "friends with benefits" what a bunch of cr...!  What are you doing having sex with a guy that won't even give you a commitment! I know women enjoy sex too but no one likes getting used.  If he cares for you at all he would want a commited relationship with you.

I have known women who have long term relationships with men that are married!  They fool themselves that the guy loves them and is going to leave his wife.  The bottom line is he likes to feed his ego and it makes him feel like a stud if he has two women.  He doesn't care much for his wife or his foolish lover!  It upsets me to see women being so foolish.

Women would rather be treated with love and respect and have a commited relationship. Pretending that casual sex is all you want is just fooling yourself.  Women have needs and one of their needs is to be in a loving commited relationship, we can have multiple partners but what are we looking for when we are looking for sex? Isn't it some kind of acceptance or love? It's not just about getting aroused.

Let's stop neglecting our needs.  It's better to be wanted than had!  Let's start promoting commited relationships and families that's where it's at, not meaningless sex.  It's time we grow up and realize that family is all we have and let's cherish it.  It's time women start gaining their power back and just say "NO,  I will not have sex with you!" not until I respect you and I know you respect me! 

Steph

Males dominate the Media--Bachmann complains

I have been watching the republican debates and can't believe how the candidates that the media like most are asked the most questions and there are a few candidates that are asked hardly any questions.  Bachmann being one of them.  It seems like the media isn't ready for a women president and doesn't seem to be giving Bachmann a fair shot.

CBS political director, John Dickerson accidentally sent an e-mail out that was also recieved by Bachmann stating that he wasn't interested in having her on his show and that "Bachmann was not going to get many questions" in the debate.

I am disappointed how the media is manipulating the interviews and just allowing only the favorites to speak.  I would of liked to have gotten to know her views.  I know that she is interested in alot of womens' issues like helping single moms who have to work hard and have little help with childcare and get little time off at work.  I am not a single mom but I was at one time and I know how hard it can be.  Women have alot of issues that I feel should not be ignored any longer. 

I personally think we are long over due.  It is time for a women president!  I would like to see how a women can make changes.  But I can't vote for a candidate that I only have had a few minutes to hear speak and I am not sure if she is the right one for the job or not!  The media is not giving her a fair shot.  They have their favorites and those are the ones we will be able to vote for.  Things have to change!  I am so sick of this biased media that has always favored men!!!!

Steph

quote: The Seattle Times

Miss Representation Screening - Take the Pledge - Become Empowered

Steph and I went to the screening of Miss Representation. It is a MUST SEE for all women and teenage girls. Visit MissRepresentation.org to learn more, take the pledge to spread the word and see what you can do.

I was a little disappointed that the panel discussion did not follow. I guess it was only for the premiere screening. The two ladies from the YWCA did say a few words and asked for mentors and mentees to sign up for their new mentoring program. I jumped at the chance. I have been running our intern program at work and I feel like starting a mentoring program is a good next step. I was surprised only two other women signed up out of a very crowded room. I also excited and flattered that they asked for my help and input since I have some experience running the intern program and this is a new program that they are launching. This is the kind of thing I have been wanting to do.

Steph and I had gone to the Boys and Girls Club a couple years ago to volunteer but things didn't pan out then. Recently I wanted to start a new program to speak to young girls and encourage young girls to strive for more. So this seems like the ideal opportunity to start getting involved in the community and helping young girls to become empowered.

It was a very inspiring movie. It was good to feel validated and justified in being opposed to the exploitation of women in the media. We have always felt like we were the oddballs in being offended but now we know we were not and that women are demoralized, demeaned and disrespected.

Now we are even more empowered to speak our minds in our blog and tell it as we see it and not be afraid to speak out.
Jan

Miss Representation

Steph and I will be attending a screening of Miss Representation at our local library. I heard of this movie through OWN and saw about the first 20 minutes of it. The topic of how women are portrayed in the media is something that we have discussed for years. Actually since college. We have noticed how much worse it is now more then ever and how every year it seems to continue getting worse with more and more exploitation of women. The fact is Hollywood is predominently run by men so naturally sexualizing women on screen is common. Women are shown with less and less clothing and often none at all when there is no need for it except to attract the male viewer.

We are excited to see this movie because honestly we thought all these years we were alone in our views. It seems no one else seems to be bothered by the portrayal of women in the media and we feel like we were the abnormal prudes that find it offensive, disgraceful, embarassing and unneccessary. Honestly I am embarassed for the girls that star in Hollywood that show it all and conduct adult relations on screen and don't know how they can feel comfortable having friends and family and the rest of the World seeing all their Worldly goods. A local celebrity, Chloe Savigny, had a very explicit scene in an independent movie and I always wondered how she could face her parents. This is a very conservative, affluent town and although she defends this graphic scene by the fact that she had dated the actor/director prior to the movie so it was easy for her to do, but what about the fact that it is now on film forever and her family, friends, and someday children and their friends may see this.
We will report back on the screening and recommend watching "Miss Representation". You may still be able to catch it on OWN or look for or request a local screening at your library or theater.

Jan

Mini-Workout---Used by Audrina Patridge, Reality Star.

Today is the start of another stressful week.  I have stress at work and my sister and I have had a recent falling out, hopefully things will work out but right now I just can't deal with any more negativity!  One thing that helped me overcome my stress was a quick workout.  Just four moves from Jarett DelBene, who's client's include Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge.

It is quick and intense.  Jarett suggests doing it two or three times a week. First shadow box or jump rope for 3 minutes.  Then do 20 reps of each of the following moves:

1. "Cat Raise"  Get in plank position with elbows and forearms on mat. Then pull in adominals and lift your hips up into a cat like position and then hold for 2 counts and return to plank position and repeat. Great for a stronger core.  Also, works shoulders and chest.

2."Cross-Legged Lift"  Lie faceup with legs extended over hips. Bend right knee, crossing right foot over left thigh.  Keeping left leg straight.  Slowly take legs down to 45 degrees or even lower if you can. Repeat and switch legs. Great for abs.

3. "Compound Crunch" lie faceup with hands behind head" Bring head and knees into a curl, elbows touching knees.  Slowly extend legs and upper body back down and repeat. Great for abdominals.

4. "Offset Bridge" lie faceup with right knee bent, right foot on the ground and then bring left leg up in the air.  Lift your hips up into bridge position with left leg up and pulse.  Repeat and then switch legs. Great for abs, legs and butt.

This mini-workout helps relieve stress and helps you to achieve that toned body you always wanted!

Steph

Source: Shape Magazine

CBS and Janet Jackson Win Fight over Wardrobe Malfunction. Can We Expect More Lude, Crude Behavior?

CBS triumphed over the "wardrobe malfunction" incident where Justin Timerberlake tore off a piece of Janet Jackson's dress during the Superbowl halftime show. I am offended that CBS and Janet Jackson are not being penalized for this obvious, intentional incedent that created a huge publicity hype for Janet Jackson. It tells other performers that pushing the envelope and conducting themselves inapporpriately is worth doing since it gets them massive media coverage and they bear no consequence, no penalties or fines for their behavior. Each time an inappropriate act or lude behavior is found acceptable it diminishes the ever so small line of what is now considered unacceptible until eventually people start to view it as acceptable. Until someone else attempts to push the envelope again and thus we continue to become unsensitized to rude, crude, and lude behavior.

I was probably more liberal before I had children, although I was always uncomfortable with sex and sexualization of women in the media, but now the relaxed laws and excessive sexual images and the acceptance of such things concerns me for my children and the kind of World they will grow up in.

So rather then then making a statement by upholding a fine for this, in my view, non-accidental warbdrobe malfunction so that others don't try to copycat, to be sure that networks take action to ensure this type of incident does not happen again and to show the artists that this will not be tolerated, it shows them that it's all well and good to go ahead and do something crazy because there will be no consequence.

I don't believe that a family event should be the place for artists to be able to do whatever they want and they should be responsible to their audience and children.

So now I wonder what's next and hope that at some point someone will take responsibility. I guess we can expect more lude, crude behavior ahead.

Jan

Clothing--Seductive Vs. Conservative

I was shopping in the mall the other day with my 11 year old daughter and suprisingly enough (ha..ha..)there was another girl about her age wearing close to nothing!  I usually in this day and age hardly even notice that some girl is walking by us half naked but this girl was wearing shorts that were not much bigger than the width of a band-aid and a shirt that came up so high that it barely covered her chest!  She was also using crutches because she had a broken leg. She was getting quite alot of stares.  I couldn't believe that her mother would let her leave the house looking like that.  I told my daughter, "You will never be able to wear an outfit like that!"  She laughed.  Luckily, my daughter is not only beautiful, but she is exceptionally bright and athletic and would never have to be half naked to finally get noticed!

To my suprise a man over heard me speaking of this scantily clothed girl and  agreed with me!  He said "I would never let my daughter leave the house wearing that!  I am so proud of my daughter, she is attending Boston University and doing well!" It was so refreshing to hear a man was offended to see a girl half naked in a mall.  It is so great to see that there is still men out there that agree that women should respect themselves more than that, and keep their clothes on!

I have to admit that I am liberated, I am not a women who wears turtle necks and long sweat pants to hide myself.  I like to dress up in fashionable clothes and look attractive and feminine but with class and tact.  I love clothes, jewelry, high heels, makeup and all that girly stuff.  I usually have to give my daughter fashion advice because I know the lastest styles better than her. She always asks me how I am so good at putting fashions together and making everything flow together so nicely. I want her to be in style, and fit in, but I still refuse to let her wear some of the clothes that the girls wear that are quite revealing and seem too mature and sexy for an 11year old girl.  I want her to always dress with class and there is no need to display yourself like a piece of meat.

Truly sexy and beautiful women can get away with wearing an ordinary pair of jeans and a sweater and their sex appeal can still shine through.  So to all the single women out there, keep your clothes on, it might be harder to get the attention that your longing for, but when you do you might find that "diamond in the rough" a nice guy that loves your soul.

Steph

last quote: Nickelback song

Fashion for Girls - Too Sophisticated for 6

I went to Kohls today to buy some clothes for my 6 year old daughter. I like to buy a size up for shirts and sweatshirts and that meant that I got bumped out of the toddler and little girl section to the big girl section. I was startled at this realization that we've just entered into the big girl section. I had a lot of mixed emotions. I was sad and missed my little girl with cute, little girl clothes. Lady bugs, flowers and butterflies.

As I entered into the bigger girl section I was faced with a lot more sophisticated fashions and I have to tell you, I am compeletly not ready for that. I walked around and found nothing that I wanted to see my daughter wearing. I did pick up a couple sweatshirts. But the dresses and shirts and skirts were a little tough to absorb. I went back to the girls section to buy a size 6x dress. I like her at 6 being dressed in cute, girly clothes. Even the formal wear and party dresses are cute. The bigger kid clothes are much more refined and too sophisticated.

I think the "tween" years should scale back on the sophisticated clothing and remember that these are young girls. Let's keep them looking young and innocent and not dress them to look older. Let them enjoy being a girl and not worry so much about being fahionable. My daughter loves dressing up and being fashionable but I don't want that turning into sexy outfits or her being worried about being in fashion. What really worries me is that she probably would be attracted to these clothes. But I feel like it's my job as a parent to be sure she does not wear anything too grown up. When kids get older it's natural to want to be in fashion, but in elementary school, who cares and why should they? Elementary school is about having fun not being worried about looking good and impressing others, especially boys. We as parents should not buy our 6 and 7 year old daughters clothes that make them look older. I want to keep my little girl a little girl.

Jan

"Inside Job"-- Matt Damon

I can't sleep after seeing the documentary "Inside Job", by Charles H. Ferguson and narrated by Matt Damon, on the downfall of our global economy! It sickens me that the downfall of our economy has been caused by greedy, immoral and selfish men that have no regard for anyone except themselves!

Before you ever discuss the economy or how Wall Street and Washington are run, I suggest that you watch this movie. It scares me that these men that are in power are so corrupt. There is not an ounce of moral fiber in their body.

The movie is based on facts and most of  these men refused to be interviewed. We all know that politicians are dishonest and just say what they believe will buy them enough votes to get into office and do not follow through on half of what they promised, in this movie you will get a more clearer picture of how things in this world really run and understand why we are in a recession.

Basically the movie depicts how the men on wall street and Washington took advantage of the American public and continued to make money off of people defaulting on their mortgage in fact they wanted people to default on their loans so they could make more money. It is time that the American people take a stand. The men involved should be punished. Nobody is doing anything about it.

It will be a long time before we get back on track and we might never if we don't  make changes on who is running this country, the powerful men in Wall Street and public office. Abe Lincoln must be turning over in his grave to see the kind of men that run this country today. The bottom line is that this country is lacking moral fiber. The lack of morals that I see in today's society is what's going to be our downfall. It is time that men start taking accountability for what they do. As Christie Brinkley said to Ladies Home Journal about today's society "It's an epidemic of male narcissism gone wild!"

Steph

Joining Forces - Supporting Military Families

I was watching Oprah Winfrey on the OWN network and heard about Joining Forces, an initiatieve to support military families started by First Lady Michelle Obama and Jill Biden.

My town has an affordable homes located on property that was once the Fitch Home for Soldiers. It was the first home for soldiers ever in the country and was blessed by President Abraham Lincoln. The homes provided temporary housing for veterans returning from war.

Currently the housing authority wants to redevelop the property and in doing so will pave over the Fitch Home for Soldiers Parade Ground and move the monument to another location on the property.

I am trying to save the Parade Ground, including starting a petition in 2010, and additionally assign 10% of the new units in the redevelopment to veterans as a way to pay homage to the original intent of the property.

I have struggled for the past 5 years to have a voice in this project but the residents and neighbors have been steamrolled by the housing authority and officials in Town who approve of this project due to political pressure and fear of 8-30g, a bill that allows developers higher density in building projects if they include 10% of units as affordable in towns with less then 10% affordable housing. Since this town has less then 10% and an "8-30g preditor" in town, pushing this through even if it is not the best plan for the property, resident and neighbors, will save the NIMBYs in town.

I will continue to fight for a better plan that honors the original intent of the property and preserve its historical heritage and include veterans in the resident make-up.

Please visit Joining Forces to learn more about the initiative and how you can help military families.

If you would like to help in the fight to save the Fitch Home for Soldiers Parade Ground, please sign the petition, visit and like my Facebook page, or send an email to stephandjanblog@gmail.com.

Thanks.
Jan

A success journal is a great bedtime tradition

I just started a new tradition with my two girls. Each night before we go to bed, we sit down together and write one thing that we did today that we are proud of or was successful at or enjoyed. This is a really good way to reinforce and reward good behavior. Even on bad days it is a good way to instill something positive.

I read the Success Principles by Jack Canfield a few years back. I recently picked it up and opened it to the page about starting a success journal and writing every night what you did in the day that was successful.

This comes at a great time because I've been trying to curb bad behavior with my 6 year old and I've been trying to find ways to create more reward for positive behavior and reduce the negative behavior. This has been going really well. I bought each their own journal. Each day gets its own page and my 6 year old wrties her own success and then draws a picture of it. My 3 year old has the same entry everyday. Apparently she's very proud of going outside to play everyday. Let's hope it's a mild winter!

I do recommend this for all parents. I also started my own success journal. It's a nice way to end the day and nice way to go to bed with positive reflection.

Jan

Are you for real?--Wendy Williams

I was watching the Wendy Williams show the other day, which I never watch, and she was talking about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.  Ashton was spotted in a hot tub with 4 women having a good time and partying and instead of Wendy saying how terrible it was since he is a married man, who should be faithful to his wife, Wendy basically blamed Demi!  She said "come on Demi, let him go, you're all dried up down there and can't give him children, you had your 3 girls.  You should just find yourself some 65 year old European."   What!!!!!!!

Is this society and Wendy trying to say that if your husband sees a chick who is younger than you, or more attractive, you should understand if he cheats??!! Ashton is a married man and should honor his vows!  If he can't respect himself and his wife, there is a thing called divorce!

Demi Moore happens to be a beautiful women. Who cares how old she is? Older men have been dating younger women, forever.  It is about time older women started dating younger men!  I am all for it!  Ashton is not some twenty year old kid, he is a grown man in his 30's!

Older women in this society get no respect!  They are called dried up, prunes, and are basically told by society that they are no longer attractive.  What is so bad about wrinkles? It is a part of life. We are all going to get them!  I guess from what Wendy thinks and society says, if your a woman over 40 you're a "has been" and just step aside and let the young girls take over!

All women have to start demanding a little respect!  Wendy you should not be talking so negatively about a women your own age!  Women need to stick together and  respect each other.  Men stick by each other and that's why it is a man's world.  Women if we stopped trying to keep each other down and supported each other men wouldn't stand a chance. They would have no choice!  They would have to respect us and they wouldn't be able to cheat because we would be smart enough not to mess around with a married guy who just wants to have his fun and use us for a little while!

This society has turned into a man's fantasy!  Men always have had commitment issues and when women wouldn't give it away so freely they were getting more respect.  What is wrong with being married to the same partner for 50 years and raising a family. My grandparents did it and they were a lot happier than couples I meet today that cheat, have multiple partners and don't value marriage.

Steph

Book Bag: Junie B. Jones

I am agast. I had heard great reviews and recommendations for Junie B. Jones by Barbara Park, a children's book targeting kindergarten through second graders.

Wow, what a shock I was in when my 6 year old daughter brought it home and we started reading it together. I am appalled at the language and behavior of this fresh, little girl and cannot understand why it gets rave reviews, and supposedly from teachers! Last I knew teachers were trying to keep bad behavior like calling names, making fun of kids, the start of bullying behavior, and hitting other kids out of the classroom. Saying dumb and stupid are words that have been forbidden in class and in my home. Even worse calling other kids dumb and stupid. Disgraceful. My daughter actually stopped me and said she was using bad words and we decided to substitute super for stupid or dumb.

The book she brought home was Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth. As I'm reading this line about Mickey Mouse, I realize that she's giving away that the Mickey at Disneyworld is a guy in a costume but it was already coming out and I didn't know how to react. Sorry but my daughter is six and I want to take her to Disneyworld next year and have her believe in the magic of Disney. Sorry but I'm a believer in letting children believe. The time of being young and innocent is so little. Let's let the kids be kids and enjoy this time of wonderfulness. Why would a woman writing a book for a five year want to give away this secret away. Of course they will learn the truth, but I don't think it should be at five and from a book written for a five year old.

In addition to the bad behavior and giving away childhood secrets, it is written in bad grammer and bad english.

So I thought as I was reading I thought this book must be for older kids. So I searched for it and read the Amazon description and discovered that this book is intended for K through 2nd grade. Even worse this book series has won 40 awards. I am shocked and disturbed that this book would get published, praised and awarded.

Bad language, bad behavior, bad grammer. Presumably this is a good "learning" book to teach kids how NOT to behave. How about we write books that teach children HOW TO behave. Books that will inspire them and teach them to be good, kind children. Kids emulate what they read and mimic at this age. Giving them this sort of book teaches them the wrong thing and gives them a bad role model.

We often critize children for being fresh and you wonder why when this is the reading material that people are praising. How could you not expect kids to be fresh when they are given books that encourage this behavior. I don't want a book that I have to make excuses for and talk up the bad behavior. I'd rather my daughter read a book that doesn't need excuses. That kids can read and enjoy. A book can be funny and not be insulting. I don't enjoy a book that is a bad influence on my child.

I definately will not be buying this book or any from the series. I honestly cannot believe one was published let alone an entire series. What a crazy world. I guess people like stupid books. Oh there goes my big fat mouth. Sorry, just got done reading this stupid book. Keep it away from your 5, 6 or 7 year old or you can expect to hear these words, that we try to avoid, in your house and on the playground.

Junie B. Jones, you get a time out. Don't let your kids read this dumb book.

Jan

Why is the Jersey Shore being Promoted to 12 Year Olds?

Why is the Jersey Shore targeting 12 year old children? This show promotes drinking, smoking and casual sex. It exploits women as sexual objects that are DTF. WTF? Why is this replayed during daytime hours. This is adult programming if I ever saw it and yet it is on a MTV after school and targets the 12 to 24 year old demographic. Shame on them.

We say we want to teach our children not to drink, smoke have have sex yet this is what they are being exposed to and idealize. This is what they see as being typical behavior. They are watching these 20 somethings behaving shamelessly and getting paid big money for it.

The cast has been shown literally falling down drunk and sent to jail, girls making out with girls - do we really want our daughters thinking it's ok to make out with their girlfriends? I'll go on about this another time - girls lifting their dresses in bars to show the World their goods, the boys picking up drunk girls in clubs that are DTF.

Yes I watch the show and I have the guilty pleasure of watching the escapades of this motley crew but when I realized this show is being broadcast during after school hours, on weekends during the daytime, over and over again,  for young kids to watch, I was stunned and furious. This is not appropriate for junior high school students. In my day, I came home from school and watched the Partridge Family and the Brady Bunch. I guess the days of innocence is gone and kids are exposed to way more than I ever would have imagined.

I'd like to see shows like this given a TVMA (mature audience) rating and only broadcast after 10PM. Why do we want our kids exposed to lude behavior? Why do we want our kids to idolize these people who are best known for being big time partiers? Why do we want to endorse programming that exposes adult situations promoting drinking, smoking and sexually explicit images.

If we want our kids to be good, let's start by making what they watch good. Let's get some wholesome shows that promote doing and being good. Things that make our kids want to be better people. To help others and work hard. Not showing how you can be a celebrity and be rewarded for a party lifestyle.

Know what your kids are watching. If you have impressionable children, ban these types of shows from your household. Inspire them with quality programming.

Jan

What! Are You Wearing That Out In Public?

It is hard to believe what I see some of the young girls wearing today!  They wear shorts that don't even cover their bottom and shirts that are completely transparent!  My daughter's classmates who are only in the 6th grade are wearing things like this!  I would never allow my daughter to wear this attire.  Why would any mother want men looking at their daughter's in a sexual way?  Why do girls want to attract that negative attention?  These men are not thinking what a nice girl, I wonder what her personality is like? I respect her feelings and would like to get to know her as a friend and maybe eventually it will lead to a meaningful relationship.  They are thinking they would like to go for a ride!  (you know what I mean)

Young girls are being abused and mistreated more and more these days and it is time, us, women say enough is enough!  We no longer want to display ourselves as pieces of meat.  We have minds, personalities and feelings!  If we wear and allow our daughters to wear sexually provacative clothing we are advertising that we are sexual objects only for men's pleasure.

I look at women having to wear less and less clothing to get attention from men and they are also getting less and less respect. Back in the 40's and 50's when my mom was growing up, women would show a little leg and men would get a little nervous and excited.  Now women have to get completely naked and men are not even really getting as excited as they use to, because they have been so exposed to nudity that they are desensitized by it.

It is important that young girls understand that women are more respected by men if they respect themselves. If the man only loves you for your beauty and sexuality, you're in trouble because the next pretty girl is going to come along and you're history!

Steph

911 Tribute

I watched the 911 tribute today. I used to be able to see the Twin Towers from the beach in my Town. As half my town works in New York, there were people from my Town that died that day although I did not know them personally.

Today as I watched the tribute, I thought about how it changed us all. I remembered the kindness and bond that it created. I finally understood, I think for the first time, truly understood the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It may seem silly but I finally connected with that story because suddenly now I can personally relate to it. I cried when I watched it at Christmas because you can knock us down, you can take down our buildings, but you can't take our spirit. Our patriotism showed through and we preservered.

I cried as I told my daughters what happened. They are too young and don't understand but I hope that they will not have to ever live through something so tragic. But it reminds us once again to be true to ourselves. Know what's most important in our lives. Believe in ourselves and our country.

God Bless America.

Jan

Motherhood is Harder Than It Looks

Being a parent is the hardest job in the World. I remember hearing this before I had kids and thought, "oh please, it's not that hard to take care of cute little babies and kids who love and adore you and you get to hug them and brush their hair and play with them.

Now that I have two kids, I know just how hard it is. I think it's one of those things that you just don't get until you experience it. When you only see one side, the fun side of parenthood, and when you really want to be a mother, you glorify being a parent. But it really truly is the hardest job. I love my kids but it can be stressful, difficult, exasperating, frustrating. I have always been pretty mild mannered yet lately I find I raise my voice, to put it politely, daily. The bedtime battle is exhausting. Saying every night 20 or 30 times the same thing over and over, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, stop playing and brush your teeth. Seriously, what should take 2 minutes turns into 20 minutes. Night after night of 20 minutes in the bathroom is just 18 minutes longer than I want to be in the bathroom yet I can't seem to speed up the process.

So I had to laugh when I was watching Bravo's new show, Most Eligible Dallas. when one of the girls featured on the show, Courtney, started judging this single mom, Neill, and whining about how she was out on a Wednesday night when she should be home with her baby; and how badly she wanted to have a family and kids and she would be home every night with her "little nugget". I had to laugh because that is such a single girl dreaming desperately to be a mom but having NO idea of how hard it is. As a mom who was desperate to have kids and I adore my children and love them more than anything else in life, I know that even with this most unconditional, unwavering love of your children, sometimes you need some time for yourself. You need some time out with friends. Especially a single mom who has no daily support or back up, I can't even imagine how good it would feel to get out and given the opportunity, I'm glad she took it and had a fun night out. It's just too bad she had to be judged.

This also reminds me of a girl at work who is trying to get pregnant and went on about how a baby wouldn't slow her down and she would just throw the baby on her back in a baby Bjorn and take the baby with her every, including traveling... on long plane trips. I laughed. I remember when I thought the same thing. Then reality sets in and traveling with a baby or young one is not as easy as throw the kid on your back and go. It's packing two extra suitcases filled with baby gear and toys, a carry-on bag filled with toys, books, snacks and drinks. The stroller, the car seat. Then of course have to entertain in a tight space for hours. I laugh. I've done it but it will be a while before I do that again. Now I prefer to take quick get-aways by car and the longest I'm willing to travel is 3 hours. It's a movie in the car DVD. When movie's over, it's time to pull over, take a bathroom break, have lunch/dinner, back in the car with another movie, and then we're at our destination.

So to you singles wishing and waiting for the easy life of motherhood, please believe us when you hear it is hard. Don't judge a girl who gets to go out for a couple hours and takes it. Don't pretend that you are that special that for you it will be easy, like we are all doing it wrong and you have the secret to motherhood being easy. It will be harder than you can imagine so be prepared. It is without a doubt the most amazing, wonderful thing. But your life will change completely. No more quick running out. Simple errands become a chore. I wish motherhood for every woman that wants children but just don't think it will be different for you. It will be hard. But it will be worth it.

Jan

College Kids - Go for Your Dreams

My niece is off to college. It's her first time on her own and this is an exciting time for her. It's been a long time since I've been to college but there's one thing that should be at the top of the list for every college student. Go for your Dream!

Don't settle for less when you go to college. Even if it seems crazy, if it's a "tough" industry to get into, if it doesn't "pay well" or if it seems unattainable. Go for what inspires you. If you enjoy your work, you will be happy and successful.

College is the time to go for it. It is the time to give it a go. There's always time to fall back on another career but if what you really want does not pan out. College is the place to make your dreams come true so don't sell yourself short.

I know of a girl whose dream was to be a dolphin trainer. She went to Sea World and talked to a trainer, very commendable, but the trainer told her there were not many jobs available and it was hard to find a job. So she gave up on her dream and is going to nursing school. This breaks my heart.

Don't give up on your dream because one person says it's hard. Go to college. Learn your trade or industry. Give it your all and be the best. Maybe that specific job wouldn't pan out but there's other job in the field that she could have done that would be a lot more exciting and rewarding for her than completely abandoning her dream before trying.

Get an intern position in your field. Definitely a summer internship but see if you can even intern during the school year. Having a long-term intern position not only looks good on your resume but also gives you a leg up for a paying position. Even if you don't start out with your dream job, if you are in the industry, you can work your way there or do something comparable.

This girl has an aquarium less then an hour away from her home. She could have interned there to see if she really would enjoy it as well as learn the other opportunities in the industry while at the same time having the chance to make a good impression which could lead to a paying position and at the least ask for a letter of recommendation to help her chances of landing a job somewhere else.

Then there's my niece. I learned that she is devastated because she wanted to go to college to become a vet but she missed a pre-requirement in high school so she's giving up on her dream.

I say do what you have to do to get what you want. Talk to the guidance counselor and find out how you can work it out. Take the class in summer school at a community college.  Don't take no for an answer.

Scared of classes that are challenging is also no excuse, that's what college is for, to challenge yourself, gain discipline and conquer your fears. Life is full of challenges. Learning how to tackle these challenges is what makes you stronger. Don't give up before you try. When you succeed it will make it that much more sweet.

College is the time to become anybody you want to be. I think everybody knows what they are passionate about. Some are just afraid to try it or think it's too difficult or too unattainable. In this economy any job in any field is tough. So you might as well go for the one that you dream of.

Believe in yourself. If you don't, nobody else will. College is setting you up for the rest of your life. Your Life. Make it the best it can be. Do what makes you happy. Don't let anyone or anything squash your dream before you give it try. GO FOR IT.

Cheers and Good Luck.

Jan

Why Is An Engagement Ring Important?

I heard a discussion on whether or not a man should buy a ring for an engagement. Some people felt that being this is 2011 that a ring is not necessary. The argument was that women work and can support themselves. That a ring isn't necessary to have a commitment. Why should a guy spend money on a ring?

Why? Because this long-standing tradition is they way that a man shows his commitment and love for a woman. The ring symbolizes the commitment that he is making.

The proposal is the guy's day. The proposal should be thought out and special.  It's the day that he gets to create and plan. Then the woman plans the wedding. The man pays for the ring. The woman pays for the wedding. It all evens out and actually in most cases the ring is way less then the cost of a wedding. Sure today it's possible that both plan the wedding and both save up for the wedding but I'd have to say in most cases the woman has had a vision of her wedding all her life and will be the one to do the majority of the planning.

Why wouldn't you want you man to buy you a ring? Even if it's not expensive, it shows that he put in the thought and wants to give you a symbol of his love. It's special. If he proposes on a whim without a ring, I think it's romantic and great but not official until the ring is on her finger. A second proposal should be made as an official proposal.

Just say yes to the ring.

Jan

Better Tasting and Healthier Than a Burger

  In the summer we love to grill and grilled veggies taste great!  Instead of putting beef burgers on the grill try a portabella mushroom!  First, marinate the mushrooms in olive oil, you can add herbs like oregano, basil, garlic, salt and pepper.  Let the mushroom marinate for at least 20 minutes.  If you are looking to save on calories you can use an all natural olive oil spray and lightly spray mushroom.  Then place it on the grill, add a slice of  your favorite cheese on top and place it on a hamburger roll.  It tastes delicious and it's healthier than beef, turkey or chicken.

  We had a big barbeque party this past weekend for my daughter's birthday and served choice of beef burger, hot dogs and of course the portabella mushroom burger.  Our guests were skeptical and didn't think they would like the mushroom burger but everyone had a taste and the mushroom burgers ended up being a huge hit!  We ran out of portabella mushrooms and had to go out and buy more! 

 A great side to go with your mushroom burger is corn on the cob, spray it lightly with butter or olive oil spray and place it directly on the grill, it gives the corn a great flavor!  Enjoy!  Happy Barbequing!

Steph

Marrying a Man Who Could be Your Grandfather. Really?

We've seen some high profile relationships involving a 70 or 80 year old man with a 20-something year old woman. Funny enough this seems fodder for reality television with E!s Girls Next Door which starred the 80 something Hugh Hefner, 85, with his 20 something girlfriends. Then there was Anna Nicole Smith who married an 89 year old billionaire, she also had a reality TV show on E!.

If you've read this blog before, you'll know that I'm a fan of Bravo and the Real Housewives. I just learned that Sonja from the New York season was married to an 80 year old man and was shocked that there was such a drastic difference in their age. Hearing her speak of her husband I never expected him to be a man that could have been her grandfather and I think I lost a little of my love and respect for her.

I don't get it. I feel within 10 years difference is the best since it would seem people from the same decade would have the most in common and could relate to each other's lifestyle, pop culture, music, etc. I get why many girls go for guys that are 20 years their senior because they are looking for security and being taken care of. It's the father syndrome, I think particularly for girls who grew up without a father figure and are desperately looking to fill that void. 

But when the gap starts reaching 30 years or more, I find it hard to understand how there is any mutual ground. How there is anything in common to talk about and how there could possibly be any physical attraction. It seems the two big reasons that are the glue for these relationships are money and fame for the woman and the trophy wife for the man.

There's a recent Hollywood marriage between a 51 year old actor and a 16 year old wanna-be-actress. I find it disturbing that her parents would allow this to take place. The groom is older then the bride's father and this man could be her grandfather. She seems to come from a dysfunctional family because any parent that would allow their 16 year to get married is bad enough but allowing their 16 year old to marry a 51 year old man is unfathomable to me. How they could sign papers to give their blessing to a marriage rather then going straight to the police station to file a restraining order and file charges against him. I believe she is too young and naive to really get it and fully understand her feelings. For him, however, I can only think pedophile. 

As they say, most famously the Beatles, live and let live. So who am I to judge as long as the parties involved are happy. But at the same time, really? Really I don't get it.

Jan

Family Fun Vacation--Bar Harbor, ME

My family and I have never been to Maine, it is our first visit and we love it!  We are well traveled and have been to lots of places for vacations but we really enjoy Maine.  There is alot to see and do.  We went first to Kenebunkport and then headed to Bar Harbor.  Kenebunkport is a cute little town and reminds you of Nantucket Island with cute little shops.  It is also where our former President George Bush lives. You might spot him and the former First Lady around town, like we did!

Then another 4 hours down the coast of Maine we made our way to Bar Harbor.  It is where one of our National parks is located, Arcadia National Park, what a breathtaking place, with mountain views and the Atlantic Ocean on one side and Frenchman's Bay on the other!  There is also tons of activities to keep the family active like hiking trails, biking trails, whale watching, and boating.  Not to even mention shopping!
A great store to stop into is "Cool is a Moose", they have great stuff.  It is in the center of downtown Bar Harbor but it is a chain and you can find them throughout Maine.  If you have a chance don't forget to stop into L.L. Bean! There is the biggest shop in Freeport, Maine.

If you are able to go whale watching make sure you are prepared for rough seas.  Alot of people got really sick, luckily my husband and I anticipated rough seas and took dramamine.  The rough seas didn't bother our kids but suprisingly there were other kids that did get sick, usually the younger ones are not as affected by motion sickness.  We were able to see at least 6 whales though, which was a beautiful sight to see.  It was fun and exciting for the whole family.

There is also camping which the kids love!  I would take a five star hotel over camping myself,  but I love to see my kids having fun, it was worth the stiff neck and backache from sleeping on an air mattress on the ground!  We camped right on the water. There are alot of local campsites in the area with lots of fun activites for the kids.  There is nothing like building a campfire and toasting marshmallows, sharing stories and meeting other campers.  We met a nice family from Quebec, Canada.
We also did alot of hiking even my almost 4 year old enjoyed it!  It was adventurous hiking through the trails with scenic views!  There is also biking through Arcadia National Park and don't forget swimming in the lakes and ocean.  What a great place for family vacations!  If you have never been, it would definately be worth the trip. While you are there you must order the maine lobster!  The best lobster I have ever tasted!  Besides their lobster, Maine is well known for their great tasting blueberries!  They are smalller than most blueberries but taste great! 
We loved it so much we plan on taking another long weekend to Portland, ME.  I will let you know how it is. If you are able to make a trip down to Maine or have already been, let me know which part of Maine you visited and how you liked it!

Steph

Book Bag - Bossypants by Tina Fey

I am not the kind of reader that reads a book in 3 days but I read Tina Fey's Bossypants in 3 days. The book is more like having a conversation then reading a book. It's like getting really good emails from your friend about what's going on in their lives. It's written in a playful way and reads quickly and easily.

It's interesting to read about Tina Fey's humble beginnings. It shared some great quirky childhood experiences and it was great to remember simpler times and those awkward childhood memories that only now we can look back at and laugh about.

It also shows how far women have come over the past 20 years as she references her former boss from Second City who believed that no one wanted to see two women on stage and to see that she would then  go on to become one of the biggest sensations on Saturday Night Live and shared the stage with Amy Poehler doing Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin achieving one of the best ratings for SNL and was global hit.

Tina Fey is a great writer and this is truly a fun book. It's a great summer read and I highly recommend adding this to your summer book list.

Jan

Schools is out---engaging young minds

School is out for the summer!  I am excited to have more time with my kids but at the same time I know it can be quite a disaster if they don't continue to have a structured schedule.  It is important that even in the summer kids contnue to learn and have some structure. Many studies have documented  that kids experience a "summer slide" in which kids do not engage their minds enough during summer break.
There are some activities that can keeps kids engaged.  I like to take my kids on lots of mini vacations just for a day, or a long weekend.  I take them to historical sites, learning centers, museums, zoos, aquariums, nature parks.  This is a great way to have fun while still learning.
Cooking and baking with kids is a great way to keep minds engaged while having fun trying new recipes.  Rice crispie treats are easy, fun to make, and tasty.  It is easy to add sprinkles, chocolate chips, nerds, gummie bears or any favorite topping.
Today we went to the craft store and bought clay.  We came home and spent almost 2 hours making clay objects and baking them in the oven.  We made a small bowl and cute little ceramic animals.
In the summer, I make sure the kids have alot of outdoor time, swimming, playing games, and staying active.  I also make sure we spend at least 30 minutes a day reading. 

These are just a few ideas to keep your children engaged throughout the summer. Good Luck and  have fun!
Steph

Casey Anthony's Free but 28 States are Considering Caylee's Law

Casey Anthony has been released from jail and is now free.

The good news from this horrible tragedy is that 28 states are considering enacting Caylee's Law which would make not reporting a missing child within 24 hours or not reporting the death of a child and the whereabouts of the corpse within 2 hours. In addition to these 28 states, George Anthony has reportedly also expressed support of this law, according to the Washington Post.

The petition for Caylee's Law has been signed by 1.2 million supporters. If you have not, this is a way you can have a voice to prevent a case like this from happening again. You can also write to your State representatives. The petition has a sample letter you can copy and paste into an email to your State rep.

Jan

Have You Been Touched Today?--Get Touched!

It is a fact that the human touch is healing.  It has been proven that hugging, holding hands, caressing, massaging and intimacy with your partner can lower your heart rate and blood pressure.  It can also increase immune function and relieve pain.  It can help relieve stress, make you less anxious and give you an overall feeling of well being.  It can make you healthier.

"The act of embracing floods our bodies with oxytocin a "bonding hormone" that makes people feel secure and trusting towards each other, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces stress.  Women who get more hugs from their partners have higher levels of oxytocin and lower blood pressure and heart rates, according to research done at the University of North Carolina."

Holding hands with your hubby can be calming.  "James Coan, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, discovered this when he admistered functional MRI's to 16 married women while telling them they might experience a mild shock.  The resulting anxiety caused the images of their brain activity to light up like a Christmas trees.  But when the women held hands with their husbands the stress response subsided.

It has been proven that babies that were born "preemies who get "kangaroo care" (snuggling skin to skin against their parent's bare chest) spend fewer days in the hospital neonatal intensive care unit.

Even getting a massage proved to be beneficial to your overall health.  "Adults who recieved a massage had substatially more white blood cells which help the body fight off viruses."

The question is did you get touched today?  If you want to live a healthier, happier and maybe even longer life, you need the human touch!  So stop reading and go get touched!

Steph

quotes from Health Magazine

Congratulations!-- Derek Jeter

The other day Derek Jeter hit his 3,000th hit, a home run!  My daughter was so excited!  She loves the Yankees and has gone to a dozen games already.  When she was only about 4 years old she said she wanted to marry Derek Jeter when she grew up, but now she is 11 years old and says he is way to old for her!  She has joined the "I hate boys club".

My daughter loves baseball and softball.  She knows all the Yankee players and all about each player.  One of her favorite players is Derek Jeter.  She currently joined a co-ed baseball team, she is currently the only girl.  She hit a grand slam and a home run her first day! 

I am so proud of her that she is not afraid to play baseball with boys.  I am so happy that I have raised my girls to believe that they can do anything that a boy can do.  Neither one of them are limited to girls only and boys only stereotypes.  I encouraged them to play with girls and boys equally.

We love Derek Jeter because he wasn't afraid to follow his dreams.  He dreamed of playing for the Yankees when he was a boy and even admits he wasn't the best player on his little league team.  But, he never stopped practicing and trying harder and believing he would some day play for the Yankees!  Congratulations Derek Jeter!  We love you!

Steph

Betty Ford - Inspiration to Women

Betty Ford has passed on at the age of 93 but she will forever be remembered for being the first First Lady to speak out and use the role to have a voice and make change. She was outspoken and made the role of First Lady more than just a silent side kick or trophy wife if you will. She was an advocate for women's rights and was a strong supporter of many worthy causes from addiction, to breast cancer awareness to being an early supporter of AIDS victims.

She was the first to speak openly about breast cancer when she was diagnosed and treated while in the White House and was an advocate for early detection. She later created the Betty Ford Comprehensive Center for Breast Cancer.

She was instrumental in advocating women having important, voting roles in politics.

She was a liberal and in favor of Roe vs. Wade since it would allow women to have abortions in clean, sterile settings and remove women from dangerous procedures outside a doctors care.

Probably most know for her work in addiction, she brought awareness to addiction and founded the Betty Ford Center.

In 1993 she along side Rosalynn Carter was instrumental in including mental health and substance abuse in the health care reform legislation.

From and interview with the Washington Post, Ford said, “When you have so much,” she said, “it is just human nature that you see the needs of others and you want to help.”

Whether you have a lot or only a little, I think it is true human nature to help others and each of us should be mindful of helping others whether it's offering to help an elderly neighbor, volunteering in your kid's school or donating food or money to charity. Any effort you make can impact somebody's life.

Betty Ford showed us how an ordinary person can take a stand. Betty Ford showed us that women can have an opinion that differs from her husband. Betty Ford showed us that women can fall but can stand up again.  Betty Ford showed us that women are important in U.S. politics and in businesses across America. Betty Ford is an important part of U.S. history and the original role model for young girls. Betty Ford is truly a legacy.

Jan

Should a Woman Propose? No Way!

Listening to the radio this morning, the morning crew was having a discussion on whether a woman should propose to a man. Apparently a woman had called in and her boyfriend, who had already been engaged before told her that he would not propose to her and she would have to propose to him.

One woman caller said sure, she should do it because she had proposed and it was awesome. Oh yeah, and she's no longer married. So that worked out well.

Another caller, a man, said maybe he wanted the experience to be completely different so he'd be able to remember it and not confuse the two. Seriously??? I don't even think I have to reply that if he can't remember his proposal, he didn't really care. By the way, he could think of something totally original, romantic and special that nothing else could top like a cruise, a beach or hilltop picnic, a winetasting, a bed and breakfast getaway, or really out there like maybe a skydive, or a mountain climb. Did you see that incredibly romantic "movie" proposal? So many ways to make it uniquely your own.

My opinion, tell this guy no way and walk. He's playing games with her. If he REALLY loved her and wanted to be with her, there would be no game going on here and he would be dropping to one knee and proposing. If she tells him flat out no way and walks away from him, either he will come running with a ring, or she's better off moving on now than wasting time with this guy who clearly isn't serious.

Even if he plays along and accepts her proposal, this is setting the precident of her jumping through hoops for him, and when she gets tired of jumping through his hoops, he'll be dumping her.

Women, some traditions are worth keeping. Proposing is your man's way of letting you know that he is ready, that he undeniably wants to spend the rest of his life with you and that he wants to make this special for you. And he should WANT to make this the most special day of your life.

The man plans the proposal. The woman plans the wedding. That's the way it has been and how it should continue to be. Why mess with tradition? 

Jan

Caylee's Law Petition

If you are outraged by the verdict of Casey Anthony not being convicted of child abuse for not reporting her child missing or dead, take action! Sign this petition and even better, copy and send the letter from the petition to your state senator or representative. It will only take a few minutes and you can help prevent this from ever happening again.

http://www.change.org/petitions/create-caylees-law

We can't change the outrageous verdict that set Casey Anthony free despite the fact that she never reported her child missing or dead, but we can take a stand and prevent this from ever happening again.

Jan

Another Murderer is Set Free!--Outrage Everywhere!

I have to say I totally agree with Jan.  I am completely outraged and can't get it out of my mind!  To hurt a little innocent 2 year old, you have to be one sick individual!  What could the child have possibly done to deserve to have her life cut so short!  I don't understand why a jury would set that women free!  The fact that she didn't report her child missing for 30 days shows complete negligence which is a form of abuse, she should go to jail for that alone! 

I heard about a women who got arrested for leaving her children in the car while she was standing outside the car throwing trash in a dumpster!  While a cold blooded murderer is set free!  It is hard to believe in the justice system when these verdicts happen!

Everyone knows this women is guilty of killing her own child or at least having something to do with it!  Why isn't anyone doing anything about it!

Steph

Casey Not Guilty of Child Abuse

I am in such shock and outraged of the verdict in the Casey Anthony case. Being found not guilty of first degree murder is shocking but if the jury felt there was not enough substantial evidence to actually prove that she undeniably killed her, is one thing. By the way, even if the defense's story was correct that it was an accidental drowning, how did Caylee get from the pool to the woods and why was there duct tape hanging from her skull. But that she was found not guilty of child abuse???

How on Earth could she at the least not be found guilty of child abuse. Even regardless of the negligence of care which caused an "accidental" death, what about the fact that she did not EVER report her child missing. Her mother called the police a month after she disappeared.

As a mother of a 2 year old, I cannot even imagine what I would do if my child was missing for 5 minutes. If I actually thought someone had taken her I would have immediately called the police and everyone I knew and if was the nanny I would have driven to her house in a second to break down the door and get her back. I certainly would not have gone out clubbing. If I found my daughter drowned in a pool, I would be a wreck and I would have immediately called the police. I would not have gone out clubbing.

If you leave a child alone in a car while you run into a store, you can be arrested for child abuse and negligence.  How is it that her child could be out of her care for a month, missing, and not be considered negligent and child abuse? This mother presumably thought her child was missing and didn't report it. Then apparently her story changed that she knew in fact that her daughter was dead and didn't report it, dumped her in the trunk and then dumped her in the woods. What love. This is such an outrage. As a mother, I am sickened that this calleous, psychotic person could be allowed to walk free.

Jan

The Ouchless Sparkler

Last night, sitting on the beach, waiting in anticipation of seeing the fabulous displays of light in the sky, after spending days building up to this, the moment is almost here for the fireworks. Just then, a vendor holding a handful of glowsticks walks up, one for three dollars or two for five. Both my girls jump up from their chairs begging for a glow stick. I only have four dollars but fortunately our glow stick guy is feeling generous and gives us two for four so both girls are estatic to have their very own glow stick. A red, white and blue swirled glow stick that my three year old quickly discovered how to turn into a "hulahoop". They both twirled it, whirled it, wore it on their head, their arm, their leg and their waist. Finally the start of the big show. Fireworks lit the night. There were singles, doubles, triples and fancy shaped hearts and stars. It was magnificent and I couldn't wait to see their faces light up. Except now all they were interested in were their glow sticks. They continue swirling and waving their glow sticks passionately. I repeatedly pointed out the fireworks, look a blue one, and a red one. Look at that one. They didn't care. They had glow sticks. At night. On the beach. How much better could it get then that?

Of course how awesome is the glow stick. In my day, the glow stick was called a sparkler. It had to be lit with a match and burned a glow of "fire" at the end that we also swirled and twirled and made crazy 8s. Except our old school glow sticks came with actual sparks jumping off the stick which could cause a serious burn. There were different size sparklers. The long 3 foot sparklers were awesome because they lasted longer and had a longer handle so you experienced less sparks landing on your hand. But the sparks were bigger so when they did land on your hand, you definately felt it. There were short ones but they also have about a two inch handle and it was instant sparks on hand. No escaping it. If you had a little sparkler, you had some zingers to contend with. The sparks were smaller so not quite as painful. Good times. I miss those sparklers.

Of course it is nice to be able to sit on the beach and not have to worry about finding a match to light it up and not have to worry about how other people are playing with their sparklers and not have the sting, the price you had to pay to experience magical glowing lines that you create yourself.

Even though my girls did not see all the fireworks, it was enjoyable watching them as having their own fun. The ouchless sparkler. Sometimes technology is good.

Raunchy, Funny---Chelsea

I am so happy to be back blogging. I haven't been able to sign on for the last couple of weeks, I finally started to blog on my blackberry, it is so hard to see but I am managing.  If anyone is having the same problem and is now  able to sign on, let me know how you did it!  I am all out of ideas! I miss blogging on my computer!  I have so much to catch up on, where do I begin!

A few Sunday's ago, I was reading The New York Times which I am able to do sometimes if I play my cards right. I get up extra early before the kids are up and make a nice hot cup of coffee and read the morning paper. In silence!  It doesn't last long before I am interupted by "mommmmmyyyyy!

But, I did get the chance to read the article on Chelsea Handler, the raunchy comedian that has her own talk show called "Chelsea Lately"

I have mixed feelings about her show. It can be a little too raunchy for my taste.  But I love the fact that she says things that you would hear out of a guys mouth but never a womens'.  Men have been so disrespectful to women in so many ways.  It is about time men got a little taste of their own medicine!

She can be harsh but she is funny!  Chelsea is a friend of Jennifer Aniston's and likes to take hits at Angelina Jolie.  I have to say in a way she deserves it.  Jennifer Aniston was heartbroken and has had a hard time finding the right guy and having a family of her own.  Women should stick together like guys do!  Don't mess with someone else's husband!  If he is unhappy let him get a divorce and then when he is single again, he is fair game! Especially if you happen to be the most beautiful, successful, and famous women in the world get your own guy, don't steal someone else's! 

If you want a great laugh in the middle of the night, when you can't sleep and don't mind raunchy, Give "Chelsea Lately" a try!

Steph

Thank God It's Summer!

     Summer has begun and my kids are off from school!  They are starting summer camp on Monday and I have this weekend to spend fun quality time with them!  I am so excited!  We went to the movies last night and saw Mr. Popper Penguins, a must see!  A great family movie and the kids love it!  Tonight we are going to My eldest daughter's softball game and out for pizza and ice cream.  She has gotten so good at softball, her coach says that the last game she made the play of the century and won the game for her team!  I am so proud of her! 
      A fun thing to do with kids is to pitch a tent!  We are going to make a homemade tent and put it in our living room for a bug free camping night with popcorn and movies! I try to enjoy every moment with my kids because I know how fast it can go by! Of course, like all mothers know it is not an easy job and it can be stressful at times but enjoy your kids and have fun as much as you can!

     Tommorrow if it is sunny we are out and about and in the pool!  On rainy days it is a great time to do arts and crafts or bake!  I like to make rice crispie treats with the kids it's easy to make and not too messy.  We add other ingredients to make it fun.  We top them with either chocolate chips, sprinkles, nerds, peanut butter or any favorite topping.  Have a fun summer week!

Steph

Summer Vacation - Packing Tips

Summer's finally here and loving it. Particularly after such a brutal winter. I am actually taking a summer vacation at Cape Cod. Only for 5 days since I can't get that much time off work and my 6 year old is in summer camp. But I'll take 5 days.

This weekend I've spent preparing for the trip. Doing laundry, cleaning and starting to pack. I'll need this vacation from the work involved in preparing for this vacation. I'm exhausted.

I want to be sure I'm prepared for everything so I'm packing toys, books, sunscreen, beach and pool toys, and sweatshirts just in case we get chilly nights.

Last year my mother came with us and she brought a box of random household items like a nightlight, Lysol spray, a flashlight, batteries, and other stuff. I thought she was crazy but guess what? We used almost everything she brought. So if you're driving, pack a little box of household items. You never know and it's best to be prepared.

I let the kids pack a bag of toys which I keep in reach for them in the car so they have stuff to play with on the way and toys to play with when we get there. I also have a portable auto DVD player so I'll let them each pick out a couple movies to take.

I also came across this great article, "Working Mom Summer Survival Tips" from Working Mom on what you should keep in your car all summer to be prepared for spontaneous fun and it's a great checklist for the roadtrip vacation plus other tips on what to stock up on at home.

Next up, cleaning the car and start loading it up.

Jan

Summer Goals

Now that summer is underway, it is a good time to set summer goals. Setting goals is a good way to keep yourself in check and use to accomplish things, big and small that you want to achieve. It becomes so easy to fall into a rut and not get around to those things that you want to do but don't seem to find time for or put off and put off doing and suddenly months go by and years go by and you have not achieved the things you want. Setting a list of goals keeps you in tune and aware of what you want to accomplish.

I always include a mix of goals, big and small. Easy goals are great to include since it will give you a sense of accomplishment and getting through the small stuff frees you up to get to the big stuff. Harder goals are good to include even if you know you won't achieve it in two months including it anyway will keep it in check and you can include steps to take to get there. This could be career goals, home improvement goals, excercise or weight loss. Whatever it is, be sure to set your big goal and include 5 steps you will take by the end of the summer to get closer to that big goal. If you don't start doing something, you will never get there.

Since it's summer, it's also great to include some summer fun. Go swimming or go to the beach every weekend. Read a fun book. Go on a bike ride. Maybe even throw in something adventurous like skydiving or rock climbing. Participate in a charity run. Maybe you've always wanted to go cliff diving, do it.

Spending time with the kids having fun is a great summer goal. I like to include general goals but it's always good to be specific so you can check it off and be sure you do spend fun time with the kids. Take the kids to a carnival. Take the kids to the zoo. Roast marshmellows. Read a different book together every night.

Spend five minutes and jot down your goals. I have a notebook that I use and date with each list. That makes it easy to review my goals and check them off.

Have fun achieving great things this summer.

Jan

Book Bag - Bossypants by Tina Fey

I have always liked Tina Fey. Her humor, her timing, her expressions are always on point and everything she does is funny. She's a writer, comedian, actress, author and oh yeah a boss. Her new book, Bossypants, is the perfect summer read. It is the next read in my book club and I just picked it up, from the library might I add. I have only read the first couple chapters but it is funny and an easy read. I guess it's not a big surprise that she's a great writer since she's been a comedy writer for years. Tina Fey is a great role model and here is another great woman that can do it all, her way. I'll give another update when I'm done and can't wait to finish.

Jan

Happy Father's Day--remembering our fathers'

Today is Father's Day and it is important for all of us to pay tribute to our dad's!  It is sometimes hard to do if we are not getting along with them or if they have passed, but I like to spend some of the day thinking of some of the positive memories I have had with my dad.  He wasn't the most perfect dad and he even admits he made his share of mistakes but he did his best and that's all I could hope for.  It was hard for me to call him and wish him a Happy Father's Day since we have had alot of differences lately, and on and off my entire life, but he's my dad and I know I love him deep down inside even though it doesn't feel that way right now.

I am glad that I called him and I know he was so happy to hear from me. He wants to celebrate Father's Day by taking me and my sister out to dinner! I said "we should be taking you out to dinner!"  Although we all weren't able to get together today, I know we all will get together soon.  It is hard to believe that there was a time that my dad, mom, sister and I were always together and lived together!Now we all hardly ever see each other.  I have my own family now and so does my sister and I realize that we will never all live together again and it makes me sad. 

I can't forget the fun camping trips, skiing trips, vacations and celebrations we all had together.  Even though now they feel like a lifetime ago.  And the times my dad would help me with my homework and tutored me with math. Dad, I can't forget you on Father's Day.  Love you, Dad!

Steph

Steph

Bethenny Frankel Stikes Again

The news is out. Bethenny Frankel is getting her own talk show. She'll be filming the pilot on June 23rd and I hear, according to the Hollywood Reporter that filming has already begun for her show. I instantly thought, so that's why she's been house hunting in Hollywood but there's a chance that she will be able to tape the show in NY. Which would be awesome because then I can go to her show!

I don't know how she does it but hats off to her. I wish I had her energy. She is a truly inspirational woman and I want to be her. Just kidding. Not. OK yes I am. But really I do admire her drive, business and marketing sense. She does inspire me to do more and make the most of who I am and what I do.

So ladies, roll up the sleeves and get to work and maybe take a time out to watch Bethenny in the fall.

Jan

How Profound - Sometimes It's Better to be an Observer Rather than a Participant

As you could probably tell if you've read this blog before, I am a fan of Bravo and the Real Housewives. I was surprised at how profound Kelly was in giving advice to Alex over the Jill/Ramona battle. Alex ran downstairs in a rant wanting to have a discussion with LuAnn over how she felt LuAnn was mistreating Ramona. Kelly, while she was being "weird" about it, told Alex that sometimes it's best to be an observer than a participant. I think that is the most profound thing I've ever heard Kelly say. Who knew. It was the best advice and she was absolutely right. At the end of the episode Ramona and Jill made amends but meanwhile now the wedge that Alex made with LuAnn lives on. The fued was between Ramona and Jill and she should have left it that way. All Alex did was create friction and trouble for her and the other girls while they were on vacation trying to enjoy themselves. Her timing and presentation was way off base.

I'm sure we've all been there. Taking sides and getting in the middle of other people's business who then make up and you're left hanging out there, still upset and now with your own fight. Needlessly.

Dont' fall into the drama. Before you get in the middle, remember sometimes it's best to be an observer rather then a participant.

Jan

Allergy Season is Brutal - How to Survive

I have heard it reported on USA Today and other sources that this is the worst allergy season we've had in ages.

In the USA Today article, "The nose knows it's a bad allergy season", said Dr. David Rosenstreich, director of the allergy and immunology division at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City, "It's been a very unusual allergy season. I don't know if it's because of the very wet winter or that it's been cold longer, but the pollen counts are much higher. This week, it's been running about 6,000 grains a day, instead of the usual 1,500," Rosenstreich said of his local area.

No wonder I've been feeling terrible and every day it seems to be getting worse. It's hard to keep up with life when you're suffering from sinus pain and congestion. I also feel completely exhausted and it's hard to motivate to do anything. Keeping up at work, which never slows down, spending time with the kids and getting the cleaning done has been unbearable when all I want to do is lie down and close my eyes. I decided today after waking up with my ears also clogged that it might be time to see the doctor. I hate to spend the money since I already have outstanding medical bills but I've suffered enough and it's time.

If you also suffer, I took the libery of looking up a few helpful tips on Web MD to help reduce your suffering.

Keep your windows closed. I also have been avoiding being outside at all. Which is tough since I've had cabin fever all winter.

Wash you clothes and bedding often. Pollens stick to fabrics so you track it in and continue to be surrounded by the pollens making you sick.

Nasal wash. I have tried a nasal wash. It can be uncomortable but it does seem to clear out your sinuses. It's worth a shot if you've got sinus pressure and congestion.

See the article for more suggestions.

Jan

Domestic Abuse - Where's the Line

On  recent episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra called the police on her soon-to-be ex-husband because he threw a dog leash at her. The kind that has the auto wind with a long leash so it is heavy plastic leash line. She wasn't hurt but to make matters worse he did this in front of his child. Another former cast member of the OC, Jeanne, actually told Tamra she was wrong for calling the police and was more concerned with Simon's reputation than Tamra's safety.

I was discussing this scene with some of the girls and was shocked that one of them actually took the side of Jeanne. She agreed that Tamra was wrong to call the police and exagerated the truth and that calling the police could hurt Tamra financially since it would be on Simon's record and he would have trouble finding a job. OK, I was in shock.

So where's the line? What does it take to make a violent act "appropriate" to call the police. Should she wait until she's in the hospital? Does a woman have to wait until until there is serious physical injury before taking action? If a woman feels threatened and afraid for her safety and for the safety of her children, she should call the police. That is why they are there. To protect us. Domestic abuse should not be taken lightly and this is the problem, for some reason the people take the side of the aggressor instead of the victim and think the victim is making it up or exaggerating the truth. 

This is no joke. A violent man needs to be able to control his temper and walk away if he can't handle a situation. A woman should not be subject to verbal and physical assault. There is NO justification for that kind of behavior. Women in particular should be siding with other women on this. Women should not feel that taking abuse is ok. It is not.

Jan

"Flipping" - The Good and the Bad, and the Kids

The days of "flipping" are over. When you could buy a home, do a quick fix and throw back on the market within a month and have a bidding war of buyers. While it would be crazy to attempt an investment property and expect it to sell quickly, the best way to be a flipper is to be a live-in flipper. If you can hack that kind of lifestyle.

For my family, this seems to be a good option. My husband has no money set aside for retirement and I have some in 401Ks and some small time stocks but nothing I could realistically retire on. So what are we to do? I realized that real estate is the way to go. My husband is a carpenter so buying low with a fixer upper, spending a year living in it while we fix it up and then put it back on the market means we don't have to sweat it counting the losses as each month passes. If it sells in a month, great, but if it takes a year, we stay a year. But we can upgrade each time we buy and sell so eventually we will have a great investment property to sell at retirement time and downgrade to a small home and then have the profit to live on.

Of course there are concerns. Moving of course is a nightmare. It is no picnic. The sorting, packing, unpacking. It's a lot of work. The renovations. Also a nightmare. Living through sanding, the nailguns, the painting, the gutting. It can be trying. The dust and noise can be unbearable.

One of my biggest concerns is the affect it will have on our children. It concerns me to force them to move to a new home, new neighborhood, new schools and make new friends. At the same time though I feel like it could be a good life experience. I grew up in the same town, in the same house. I do still have many friends from elementary school and I think that's phenominal and I'm lucky to have those kinds of bonds. But I think exposure to different cultures, learning how to navigate through new surroundings while they are young I think and I hope can be beneficial to make them stronger and more self-assured. I would like my children to be Worldly and not afraid to be adventerous. I'd like them to have experiences that challenge them so they can handle tough situations later and prepare them for life.

I do think have stability in high school is important so we plan to do a lot of flipping in the next 10 years and then settle down. I think in the end, you have to do what is best for you and your family. Stability is great. But having money to retire on is a necessity. Being a live-in flipper can work if you don't expect to too much too quickly.

Change is good.

Jan